A Conversation for Modern Etiquette
Emsley Thomas Started conversation Mar 21, 2003
...this is always a tough one. There is the argument that since women have fought for equality (and are fighting still- don't believe all those people that tell you that feminism is outdated and that women have achieved equality ) then they should not expect men to do anything *extra* for them. On the other hand there is a difference between men being chivalrous or courteous to women because women are weak/fragile little things with no minds of their own who must be protected and men doing things for women because it is nice and they want to appear nice I would like guys to hold doors open/ give up their seats/ escort me home/send flowers etc because I find it attractive, not because I think that they should do it by virtue of my being a girl. Women do crazy stuff for men (hours spent on make up, waxing etc) because they know that it will attract the other sex (or same sex...whatever) guys could be chivalrous because many girls find that form of manners/ politeness/ consideration very attractive. It is not necessarily patronising for a man to hold open a door to a woman or offer up his seat to her, though some women do feel patronised by it, for many it is simply a kind gesture reminiscent of an age when men were expected to treat women in that way. As always it depends on the woman.
It does go without saying though that extra chivalry/ courteousness should be offered to pregnant women. Those who do not immediately offer to give up their seats on busses/ tubes for them should be banned from public transport for life. After said pregnant women has been allowed to get out all her fustration about swelling ankles, strage tastes, early morining vomiting, impending labour etc out on them
snazoo Posted Mar 21, 2003
I think chivalry can go both ways. Holding doors for people or giving your seat to someone who looks like they need it more than you doesn't have to be gender specific.
And I am in total agreement that pregnant women should get whatever they want.
Emsley Thomas Posted Mar 21, 2003
Cazza Posted Mar 22, 2003
Please continue to hold doors open for ladies (but only if you want to )
I like it when gentlemen hold the door open for me. I'm sorry, it is sexist, but I like and appreciate that level of courtesy. I don't assume that a man holding the door open for me believes I'm too weak and feeble to do so for myself. In return, all I can promise is I won't let the door slam back in his face (nor anybody else's)
I cannot defend this position, so I won't try to. Gents, I appreciate the quandary you are in. But any woman who berates you for your courtesy is :
So, thank you to all men who have extended this courtesy to me in the past, and may it continue !
AEndr, The Mad Hatter Posted Mar 22, 2003
I like it when *anyone* holds the door open for me. I also like it when I am thanked for doing it for others.
Chivalry.... Has gone too far
J Posted Mar 22, 2003
Chivalry.... Has gone too far
Wrinkled Rocker Posted Mar 22, 2003
The appropriate action for a gentleman is to open the door for lady.
The appropriate response is to accept the gesture with grace as a polite compliment to her as a person and say: "Thank you."
"F*ck you, male chauvinist pig!" in reply is neither feminist nor gracious - it's just gutteral!
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