A Conversation for Bad Habits and How to Stop Them
Myndkandi Started conversation Sep 18, 2005
One of the major flaws in humans is feeling. It is overall a bad habit. It IS possible to remain mostly numb, and I highly recommend it. I'm not talking feeling numb. I mean being numb, in mind, body and soul. Feelings mess up everything and make everything great. More often than not, though, ppl can't appreciate the good things, and the bad things become monsterous and overwhelming. Yet, ppl still insist on these... feelings. I am no master in the art of not feeling, but after 2 years of being trapped in a situation that I don't see ending this lifetime, I think I have done very well staying numb. At any rate I have some ideas on how to go about this for others who may "feel" like it's pointless, but can't get themselves to commit suicide (it's essentially the same thing).
To start with, you have to submit to something. Let it take over, but don't let it kill you. (Otherwise, well, you might as well do it yourself.) For some, it is may be there already, forced or legally, or however it may go. For those not included in the latter thought, it may take a while to see that life has no direct point (It's more of a general wave of the arm, "that way" gesture), but do not relent, you will get the hang of it.
Second, don't put yourself second on your list of priorities, erase your name completely. If you aren't a priority, why do you care anyhow???
Third, don't sleep much. Let your body and mind crash out (literlly) when they are ready to, and then when it does, don't let yourself go for more than... oh, I'd say 3-4 hrs. How can the nerves in your body function correctly if they don't get that break. Bonus feature on this one, if you're up all night, instead of letting that voice in the back and bottom of your head ramble on, remind yourself how ultimately, you are nothing but a speck. Don't let that ego get in the way. It is all in the head, or up to who/what ever you have submitted to.
Fourth, get involved with a significant other who will assist on the breaking of the soul, holding you back from your potential, take everything and give nothing, deprive you of all things that would normally make you happy (if you cared to feel) and remind you how lousy of a person, mother, friend and lover you are. For extra measure let them know you want to be numb with them forever (anyone that mean won't mind a numb partner), and make it a goal to hear that they don't want to marry you at least a couple of times. That should be very efficient at making sure you don't want to feel. (If you've passed the first point, this point should be easy.) I only recommend this if you can't get yourself to commit suicide, otherwise it serves as motivation for that. (Think of it this way would you like to be the poor sucker who has to mess up?)
Fifth, read "1984" and "The Handmaid's Tale" back to back.
There's lots more that I may or may not have tried, successfully or not. You will likely come to your own conclusions on how to accomplish this, so go with it. It is a trial and error process, but once you learn not to care about the errors, you are already at step one.
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