Immorternity - Chapter 35 – Ad Nauseam

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Chapter 35 – Ad Nauseam

Wolfgang sidled into the SHC safe house, using the rather large flap that was inexpertly mounted in the back door. He had requested an audience to discuss and resolve the Milky Way High Court veto. Going up the stairs and into a small communications booth, he managed to enter his call ID to set up a meeting.


'My wings are tied' The Duck started off, even before Wolfgang had started explaining the situation.


'How about the members of the jury?' Wolfgang enquired.


'We tried to contact Dean the dinosaur, but it appears that meteorite has finally dropped. The Medusa was too busy enjoying her beauty sleep (and she accidentally petrified her IT consultant). Zack said he was just on his first day of employment in a brewery, so he couldn't get the day off.' He Duck sounded annoyed but Wolfgang ignored it.


'Maybe we can ask the defense attorney? She seemed capable and in favour of the final verdict…'


'We were afraid you were going to ask that, but I guess you are right. We could use someone with an exemplary, albeit somewhat suspicious success rate in court.'


A few minutes passed as attempts were made to contact whatever realm the spirit Elyizaahhrg was residing in. With the help of an industrial grade hairbrush, the mass of frizzled hair that came on-screen eventually turned into the spirit attorney. Another few minutes passed as she tried to correct the inside-out back-to-front dress in a suitably decent manner.


'Hi! How can I help you?' the spirit said while hitting the start button on an ornate mechanical chronograph.

tick tock, the meter is running


'What's that with the stopwatch?' Wolfgang asked.


'Just to keep track of how much you are going to owe me… I can offer you a special after hours rate, if you like.'


'Is that higher or lower than your regular rate?' The Duck asked with suspicion in its voice.


'Higher of course!'


'So a pro bono continuation of the same case is out of the question then?'


'I'll think about it. We'll discuss that afterwards then. For the time being it would be wise to get to the point though. That could be a lot cheaper.'


Wolfgang explained how the MWHC had vetoed the decision with regard to the Vega vs. Humanity case, especially where they wanted to immediately stop the use of the green stuff by Ava and Eddy.


'Do we know what effect stopping would have on them?' the spirit asked.


'Not that we know off, but it could turn ugly. The green stuff was rather experimental. First use on humans and such. Oh, and even if we can't overturn the veto, Ava has gone AWOL through some kind of grail thing.'


'Let me think… We could plead Non Obsequio Ad Nauseam from the side of the MWHC.' Elyizaahhrg proposed.


'Say that again?' Wolfgang and the Duck said in unison.


'That’s lawyer talk for: We are sick of repeated non-compliance from their side, so we can try to force some form of compensation, like dropping that veto. I'm not sure whether we have the mandate to threaten to become an independent galaxy, but we can let the idea linger if all else fails.'


'I concur. Getting the funding to purchase our own super massive black hole to revolve around might put too large of a drain on our budget. Even a regular massive one might be too much of a stretch. Threatening to separate might help put the pressure on though…'


'I'll go and put something on paper for you to review before you take any action. We'll be in contact…'


Elyizaahhrg waved and stopped the chronograph theatrically before she shut down the connection. Wolfgang sighed deeply. 'Showoff!'


'Could you send someone to come and untie my wings please?' The Duck pleaded after the spirit attorney had logged off.


'I'm going to need your actual location for that, your Honour. How did that happen anyway?'


'One word: Fishermen#@!.'


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