h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've always been taught that to get that authentic 'just-hocked-up-three-litres-of-phlegm' sound to your voice when you phone in sick, you should lie on your back on your bed. Hang your head off the edge of the bed, so you are looking at the floor. Your vocal cords are now stretched, and your voice becomes instantly croaky.

Only works if you have a phone in your bedroom.

Be sure to call in to the office and leave your boss a voice mail message around the time you would usually wake to get ready for work...

That time stamp on the voice mail of 6am is a nice touch because it means you were awake and made an effort, but just couldn't do it.

Calling in a few minutes before your start time gives the appearance that you just woke up and said 'why bother going in today'.

Great entry!


Do I feel warm to you? I hope I'm not coming down with something, the kids were up all last night...

we used to have an employee that thought she mastered the art of sick days. she was wrong...from watching her i tend to agree with 'do not overdo it'. the worst thing you can do is go around the office looking for pity. all that happened was we ended up pushing her out the door just to get rid of that fussy voice and pitiful act. ok, so maybe it did work...she got to go home but in the end that is where she stayed.

In an office full of women, most of whom are mothers, 'Really bad morning sickness' works... Though I really was sick the one day I've called in so far--I slept most the day!

what a waste of a good sick day. me, i can't take sick days because there is no one to take my place while i am gone which leaves work stacking up until i return. then i am really sick as i sit there staring at a mountain of backlog.