h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Is it worth pointing out that there are sentence fragments in this article, and that there are missing punctuation marks, or did the Ed's just throw out the style guide for this entry?

I found a couple of sentence fragments, but what missing punctuation marks were you thinking of?

Well the big headers are:

Beret
Cap No1 Dress - Craphat
Cap, Combat
Helmet Steel 1944 Pattern - 'Boingy'
Helmet Combat
Cap Comforter - Scarf

The punctuation of these headings is inconsistent. The 2nd and 4th both give the other name of the headgear, but only the fourth puts it in apostraphes/quotes. The third and the 5th are in the format "Item" and then "Use", but the third uses a comma, and the 5th doesn't. The 6th is in the stylve of 2 & 4, but appears to be mixing in the style of 3 & 5 (Cap, Comforter ?). And the 1st one matches none of these.

You're right to point out the inconsistency - I've tidied it up a bit but will change it again if you think it necessary. Sorry about that. Can you point out the sentence fragments please?

I spotted these two fragments, under the Header "Helmet Steel 1944 Pattern - 'Boingy' ", in the Notes section:

"One of the least liked items issued." and "The reason why it was hated so much?"

...which probably ought to be: "This was one of the least liked items issued." and "Why was it hated so much?", respectively.

Sorry I didn't catch these in subbing.


GTB

Looking better. One other thing with the headings - shouldn't "Combat Cap" actually be "Cap Combat" to be consistent with the others?


Sentence frags:
The only ones I see are under Helmet/History
"The modern kevlar helmet."
"Issued as personal issue with appropriate cover. "

Also the sentence in between refers to the "Paras". I assume these are paratroopers? should this be explained in a footnote at least?
-----------------------------
Also, this next paragraph:
1st sentence - "After the 'boingy', this was heaven"
written in 1st person, describing personal experience

3rd sentence - "Wearing it all the time in the field wasn't, however, but they got used to it."
written in 1st person, but describing someone else's experience. Who are "they"?
------------------------------
The last paragraph:

"Not on issue today, but replaced by the warmer which is a copy of the Wehrmacht torques, a woollen knitted tube not sewn at the ends and pulled over the head to the neck and used like a balaclava or scarf."

Technically, I think this is a sentence but it is incredibly difficult to follow. Also, what is a "torques"? Do you mean "toque"? How about something along the lines of:

"The cap comforter has been replaced by the warmer, which is a copy of the Wehrmacht torques. This is a woollen knitted tube not sewn at the ends. The warmer is pulled over the head to the neck and used like a balaclava or scarf."

Hope this helps.

>>"After the 'boingy', this was heaven"
written in 1st person, describing personal experience<<

How is that written in 1st person? Or this:

"Wearing it all the time in the field wasn't, however, but they got used to it."

"This was heaven"

Someone is saying this statement. The author doesn't attribute it to anyone, so it seems that s/he is saying it. That implies first person doesn't it?

I guess I'm not sure anymore, but it seems like it only can be first person.

I see what you mean, but that's never how I've interpreted "first person" before, to mean anything I say that is my opinion. In an inflected language, "it was heaven" would take a third person verb.


What I've always tried to avoid in writing and subbing here are the first person pronouns, 'I' and 'we'.


GTB

Undoubtedly, we've let a few things slip through here. Please accept my apologies. It does occasionally happen. GT, it's totally not your fault. The entry is written in a style suggestive of a modern military inventory, hence the 'fragment' sentences slipping through. (They kind of sound right in keeping with the 'clipped' military manner of such an entry.) However, I've changed stuff round now. Dave, thanks so much for your comments. They all make sense and I've incorporated all of them.

Sorry for the trouble guys and thanks again for the feedback.

Sam.

Thanks for straightening that out, Sam.

No sweat, GT.

Hey all -

I'm sorry I was rude in my comments, I really liked the entry. You guys do a lot of work, most of it unpaid. The work is so high quality, and the guide is so well put together that I was initially very shocked when I read the entry. I know what you mean about the clipped military style slipping through. Thanks for all the hard work you guys do keeping the guide running, and adding new entries.

Dave