Escape Pod Dreams

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ESCAPE POD DREAMS

It only hurts when I read....

Matters of unsubstantiated nutritional value explained to you

in terms that will make fasting easier in this highly charged

religious season of denial and dedanube.

00**.**00

Please find enclosed a short introduction to the world of

Irritating Public Radio, a small pirate station that broadcasts

from a floating set of radio-controlled yachts, barges and dorries

in a tiny private pond in a tiny but well-tended botanical park

somewhere south of Denmark.
Irritating Public Radio is

dedicated and committed to the dissemination and diffusion of

news, information and other generally irritating items of

education, entertainment and erudition.
The Board of

Directors, who meet in closed session with velvet bags over their

heads, have never shirked from the original Mission Statement,

which, in part, reads (but cannot write):

...it is the

express purpose of this incorporated non-profit limited holding to

make tax write-offs for large international and multi-national

corporations as easy as pie. It is further to be stated that as

long as we delineate our portion of the airwaves, no stone will be

unturned in the search for the least commercial and least

interesting programming that can be found by the touts that the

holding's solicitors will retain by order of this

Board...

Pretty much says it all, doesn't it? But

rest assured, that, no matter how hard one seeks to manufacture

mediocrity, that a few diamonds, by comparison, will never fail to

shine among the dross.
We invite you on a journey to find

those diamonds.
Welcome to Irritating Public Radio, Your

Friends In The Air.

00**.**00

Please also find enclosed a partial evening of scattered

programs, as a sample of how your listening pleasure can be

reduced to a dull roar if you turn the wireless speaker to face

the far wall:

12:08 PM: I thought you wanted it

that way!
by Pepin the Shirt

12:27 PM: Crossing Wires: An

Encounter With A Real Psychic

by Jackie Murrieta, wearing a bulletproof bikini with a

smile

1:45 PM: PSA from the Golgotha

College Director of Student Health and Hygiene

by

Ian P. Blurd

1:47 PM: Poor Boy Doesn't Know

What Hit Him 2
by Dame Grace

Williams

1:49 PM: Time and

Temperature
by Three Tenors and a

Riverdance

That concludes our programming at this time. Tune

in next week when we will hear the Censor say,'My Gran can write

better than this in a coma!'

Oh, by the way, a couple of congratulations are in

order:

To Mr. John Agggag, of Halifax, Novia Scotia, happy to hear that

one of your brood has escaped the nest.

To a Munchen tech writer: Soon, it will be your turn, too.

To the man with a new house: I hope you looked in the attic!

From Binky to all the Gang down at the CAC Laundry: A little

starch goes a long way!

And finally,

To Father Martin and Sister Alexis: That was me that put the

itching powder in the font...

Sorry.


(tonsil revenge)


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