A Conversation for Building Confidence and Self-esteem
loudIDONTKNOW Started conversation Mar 28, 2007
WELL I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START I HAVE VERY LOW CONIFIDENCE AND NO MATTER HOW MUCH I TRY TO PUT OUT THIS VERY CONFIDENT PERSON IT DOSEN'T WORK I FEEL THAT IT IS NOT ME. I RELLY WHAT TOO HAVE MORE CONFIDENCE I AM IN MY FIRST YEAR IN COLLAGE AND IT SEEMS TO HAVE GOT WORSE WHEN I THINK BACK. I FAKE THE LITTLE CONFIDENCE I HAVE. I THINK I OVER THINK THINGS. WONDERING WHAT PEOPLE ARE THINKING OF ME. IF THAT WASN'T BAD ENOUGH I GO ALL RED IN THE FACE AND DON'T EVEN KNOW IT SOMETIMES WHICH IS THE BEST BEST BECAUSE WHEN I KNOW I RED IN THE FACE I JUST GO REDER THAN EVER. I TRY AND LAUGH IT OFF BUT THIS DOES NOT WORK. MAY SOUND FUNNY BUT IT IS A VERY BAD FEELING TO GET KNOW THAT EVERONE IS LAUGHING AT U BEHIND UR BACK IT IS VERY HARD FOR ME TO SAY THIS AND FACE THE REAL FACTS ABOUT MYSELF.
I NEED SOME ADVICE.
Hi again loudIDONTKNOW
Please don't post using all Caps, it's considered as shouting here (as it is on most websites) and we're mostly a friendly bunch, who tend not to shout at each other. And also, some people, myself included find all Caps difficult to read.
loudIDONTKNOW Posted Mar 29, 2007
GeneralDownturn Posted Mar 30, 2007
Hi - you sound just like me! Red face and all! Years ago I used to hate going to the barber because I'd start to feel warm with the cape round my neck and go a bit red. Then I'd think people were looking at me because I was red and go redder... and redder... and REDDER until people really were looking at me (probably wondering if I was going to explode or something).
Then I wouldn't want to go back there because I thought they'd be thinking 'here comes red-face again'. It was really horrible. I had a really shaggy mop for a long time!
It wasn't just the barbers though, I used to feel anxious in any sort of situation where I felt out of my depth (interviews especially).
I sort of stumbled across some help when I picked up an 'anxiety crisis card' by chance. I recognised the symptoms and once I knew what was causing it I was able to control it bit by bit and talk myself down.
I still have a really deep fear about public speaking and that's how I came across your post. I'm thinking about doing a degree but want to learn some techniques to conquer my fears about doing presentations etc.
I'm by no means totally cured but at least I can go for a haircut now!
GeneralDownturn Posted Mar 30, 2007
By the way, I've just found this page. I don't know if it applies to you but I sums me up to a tee. I wish I'd found it years ago.
I think I'll try to find out if there are any of the courses it mentions.
You did absolutely the right thing posting about this and not suffering in silence. I suffered for far too long.
MartynAV Posted Jul 2, 2007
That artical kind of sums me up to.
I always go red even over things that i know are not embaressing. I find it impossible to speak to people i dont know and can only make friends with people that are really easy to make friends with, but once i have made friends with them its like something clicks and i can be myself.
I also hate going into shops or anything like that, like the barbers, i went today and for the whole time im there im just hoping they dont speak to me.
But i am differant in a way, i am confident in my looks, i know im not all that good looking but i get interest from girls, that is of course before they speak to me. I am also confident that i can do things, if im doing anything, a quiz, a race or anything i usually believe i will win and some of the time i do. I'm not big headed though and dont tell people i think i will win or do well, i just think it in my head.
When ever someone i dont know speaks to me i ALWAYS go red and everything goes out of my head, i just reply to stuff they ask me and not really say much else back and they end up thinking i dont care or realise im really shy and go away. Sometimes i just end up trying to be funny and come out not funny, which makes things alot worse, especially since i know i can actually be quite funny.
I've read alot of things on the internet but they dont seem to help because when im in the situation i'm not thinking of them.
Also, after i've been out, say i go home or somthing i will think back to something that happened, even something that at the time i didnt find embarresing and i will think, what a **** basically and think i should'nt have said anything and blah blah, even thought its something really stupid.
This is my first post here, sorry its so long, just had to get that out.
MartynAV Posted Jul 2, 2007
Aximili Posted Jul 2, 2007
Ami-lee Posted Aug 28, 2007
Aximili Posted Aug 28, 2007
hellohello147 Posted Mar 1, 2009
im just the same as you!
i need help so badly, it gets me so upset and really gets me down arghhhhhhhh!
wylop1984 Posted Apr 10, 2009
ye me in same boat. red red red whenever people talk to me. i think everyone is looking at me. it something i can't seem to get over.
inspiringcarrie Posted Sep 10, 2009
After reading all these message can I just say how I was exactly in the same boat as most of you, low self esteem, continually feeling paranoid people were looking at me, hiding away, feeling ugly and more, i lacked in so much confidence I jsut got no where In life, and Now .......well now I feel fantastic, and its all thanks to a lady called Carol Dodsley wo owns Choose changes, she runs ultimate confidence workshops over the UK which cost just £25.00 and beleive me I am full proof these certainly help, if you want more info go to www.ultimate-confidence.com - trust me they are worth it
I am now living a happy no worries life I feel fantastic
Message me if you would like me to tell you more
Key: Complain about this post
- 1: loudIDONTKNOW (Mar 28, 2007)
- 2: Emmily ~ Roses are red, Peas are green, My face is a laugh, But yours is a scream (Mar 28, 2007)
- 3: loudIDONTKNOW (Mar 29, 2007)
- 4: GeneralDownturn (Mar 30, 2007)
- 5: GeneralDownturn (Mar 30, 2007)
- 6: MartynAV (Jul 2, 2007)
- 7: MartynAV (Jul 2, 2007)
- 8: Aximili (Jul 2, 2007)
- 9: Ami-lee (Aug 28, 2007)
- 10: Aximili (Aug 28, 2007)
- 11: jamiyanabila (Jan 4, 2008)
- 12: Harmony4life (Apr 24, 2008)
- 13: hellohello147 (Mar 1, 2009)
- 14: wylop1984 (Apr 10, 2009)
- 15: inspiringcarrie (Sep 10, 2009)