Notes From A Small Planet

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Voting against voting

A potent political force may soon be formally represented in British elections for the first time. It speaks for a political outlook with countless committed followers all over the UK, and in every other country too. It's nothing new at all - but until now, it's never had a presence on ballot papers.

No party represents the people who believe in this view of politics. They have no leader. They don't put out political broadcasts, distribute leaflets, or go canvassing. Yet they represent such a large section of the UK electorate that the Electoral Commission, the government body currently pondering possible changes to the conduct of British ballots is considering giving them official recognition for the first time.

And it's probably about time, because whenever an election comes around, you hear their slogans wherever you go. They say things like 'They're all the same', 'They're all in it for themselves' or 'It doesn't make any difference whoever you vote for'.
Judging by the turnout of less than 60 per cent at last year's General Election, and the even lower proportion of eligible voters who bother to express a preference in most local elections, their numbers are growing at a rate that all the official political parties can only dream of.

And now, the Electoral Commission is thinking of allowing such people to express their scepticism in a more positive way. They're considering the introduction of a 'none of the above' box on British ballot papers, so that voters disgusted at the choices they're being
offered could convey their contempt more clearly than they do simply by staying at home on polling day.

The proposal has already caused some panic amongst professional politicians. Liberal Democrat MP Paul Tyler has dismissed the proposal as a gimmick. He complains: 'The present electoral system already effectively wastes two thirds of votes cast. A 'none of the above' option would simply increase that proportion. The Electoral Commission needs to consider what would happen if the majority of voters in one or more constituencies spoiled their ballots.'

Mr. Tyler has a point about the electoral system. My own enthusiasm for the electoral process is tempered by the fact that I live in a constituency that is fairly marginal, but where the parties with whom I have most sympathy have no realistic chance of winning.
At the last General Election, I entered into a vote-swapping arrangement with a stranger from another marginal constituency so that both of us could feel we hadn't entirely wasted our votes.

But Tyler's last point smacks of a politician's fear of humiliation. The Electoral Commission is, in fact, already considering what should happen in the event of None Of The Above being the people's choice. The most likely option is one in which all the rejected candidates would be obliged to step down, and fresh nominations would be sought.

What's more, Tyler's professed concerns about the proposal's implications for British democracy may well conceal a more self-interested concern about its likely effect on the party he represents. The Liberal Democrats have often benefited from votes donated by people disillusioned by Britain's two biggest parties, as have other, less likely recipients of protest votes. The greatest and most glorious example in recent times came earlier this year, when Stuart Drummond was elected mayor of Hartlepool. He had campaigned in
the guise that made him a local hero: that of H'Angus the Monkey, the official mascot of Hartlepool United FC.

There are others who counsel against the proposal for 'positive abstentions'. They include Robert Worcester, chairman of the opinion polling company, MORI, who has said: 'It is going to pander to the irresponsible voter, who will say that they are never satisfied. There are those in the electorate who will never feel the government has done enough for them.'

Interestingly, though, Mr. Worcester places the blame for the poor turnout at the General Election at the door of the opposition, rather than the government: 'The Tory party has turned within (itself) and elected two leaders in a row who were more popular among party activists and less popular among the potential voters in the coming elections. What they are doing is engendering abstentions. As long as they don't have effective opposition, Labour will continue to be returned on reduced votes from an ever smaller share of the electorate.'

He's probably right. But all I can say for certain is that my own dwindling enthusiasm for party politics largely stems from a feeling that the 'they're all the same' lobby is closer to being right than ever before. Time was when I'd tramp the streets at election
time campaigning for Labour, in the fond belief that a Labour government would secure a significantly fairer distribution of the nation's wealth and a better deal for the underprivileged. Such illusions are long gone, in these days of Labour enthusiasm for
'public-private partnerships' and persecution of asylum seekers.

I hope that the 'none of the above' option is indeed included in future elections. A large vote for it might just remind the career politicians that they are supposed to be providing us with principled proposals for the nation's future, not just more and more desperate appeals to the lowest common denominator. Anyway, cynics represent a large section of the electorate, and I see no reason why they should be disenfranchised. At the moment, I don't think I'd vote None Of The Above myself - but I'd rather like to have that option, just in case the last fraying shreds of my faith in the democratic process
unravel before next polling day.

Football versus franchising

One of my favourite days in every year is the Saturday on which the new English football season begins. For most true fans, a new season brings a unique rush of excitement. It's a fresh start. You get to see your team's close-season signings in competitive action for the first time, and begin to get a realistic idea as to whether this latest campaign is likely to end in triumph or frustration. Last weekend, England's Nationwide League kicked off for 2002-3, and it was a very special moment when I saw my beloved Bradford City run out for their opening game. For most of the summer, I wasn't sure whether I'd ever see them in action again. Serious financial problems meant that City came desperately close to going out of business.

However, there was no such relief for the followers of another club from the Nationwide League Division One - the league one below the big-money Premiership. Only 668 supporters of Wimbledon FC watched the club's opening game of the season, a 1-0 defeat by Gillingham. There were so few spectators inside the ground that the
goalkeepers kept having to clamber up into the stands behind the goals to retrieve the ball, since there were no spectators there to throw it back to them when shots went wide. Meanwhile, hundreds more Wimbledon fans gathered outside the ground to picket the game. They were protesting the club's owners' plans to relocate to Milton Keynes, 60 miles north of Wimbledon's present base.

Wimbledon's problems stem from the fact that they haven't had a ground of their own since 1990. After the club rose dramatically from the non-league ranks to reach the top flight of English football, they were forced to leave their humble stadium at Plough Lane in Wimbledon, which was too small to accommodate big clubs' travelling support. For the past 12 years Wimbledon have been tenants sharing Crystal Palace's Selhurst Park stadium - an expensive arrangement. Club chairman Charles Koppel has claimed that he tried and failed to find a site for a new stadium in greater London, but kept coming up
against opposition from local authorities. Finally, he says, Milton Keynes - one of the biggest British towns without a professional soccer club - seemed like the best option.

To American sports fans, used to the idea of sports 'franchises' moving where the market dictates, this may not seem like such a strange story. But the British soccer authorities have never agreed to anything like this before. Over here, clubs simply do not move far, though in recent years more and more have been moving to new, improved stadia in the same locality. Outraged Wimbledon fans have formed a new club, AFC Wimbledon, and have managed to sell over 1,000 season tickets to see the new team play, even though they'll only be competing in the humble, semi-professional Combined Counties League. The new club claim to be the true Wimbledon, and promise that they'll soon rise through the non-league ranks just as the old club did in the 1960s and 1970s. If their support remains at its present extraordinary level, they may well succeed.

Less admirably, some opponents of the move shouted 'scab' and 'scum' at those few hundred Wimbledon FC supporters who turned up at that game against Gillingham. I can't condone such behaviour, but I do hope that the fury that's greeted Wimbledon's relocation will deter the English soccer authorities from ever sanctioning such a move again.

It's sometimes said that football is a business and must always adapt to business realities, but the bond between fans and their clubs is entirely different to that between customers and any other kind of business. Proud fathers do not enrol their newborn children in a Tesco's Supporters Club, nor name them after their local
supermarket's staff - and as far as I'm aware, there's no market for replica Sainsburys staff uniforms. The club-fan relationship is a love thing, and woe betide the club chairman who tries to break that bond.

Anyway, for the rest of this season, I'll be watching both Wimbledons' results, hoping that Wimbledon FC fail and AFC Wimbledon continue to go from strength to strength. Franchising is one American import that English soccer definitely doesn't need.

All shook up

As the world marks the 25th anniversary of the passing of Elvis Presley, some amazing statistics have emerged from an online poll conducted by Harris Interactive. Over 17 million Americans have impersonated Elvis at some point in their lives, and gender is no real barrier: around a third of those Elvis impersonators have
been female. The poll claims that nearly a third of Americans have bought an Elvis record or video, and around 10 per cent have visited his former home at Graceland. Nearly 72 million have seen an Elvis impersonator.

All of which would be completely unbelievable were we talking about any other entertainer - but as his recent return to the top of the British singles chart with 'A Little Less Conversation' demonstrated, the power of Presley lives on.

I don't blame any of the impersonators for wanting to have fun or to feel like a King, but I do think it's a bit of shame that so many young people have only experienced Presley as a cartoonish, caricatured figure. Thankfully, my local arthouse cinema is
screening the concert film Elvis -That's The Way It Is this weekend as a tribute, so I'll be going along to remind myself what the real thing looked like in his prime. If you're a fan, I hope you too get a chance to sample the magic once again.

And with that: ladies and gentlemen, Ormondroyd has left the building.


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