h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

From the top.

> "but there is a prescribed way of using [the apostrophe]"

Factually wrong. Lots of different authorities prescribe different ways of using it, and there isn't *A* single way.

> "Strictly, because plane is a contraction of aeroplane, it should be written 'plane. Because no one does this any more, and because plane has become a word in its own right, most linguists agree that *it* should no longer be counted as correct"

The starred 'it' presumably refers to 'plane with an apostrophe?

I think it's wrong to say on the one hand that plane *should* be written with an apostrophe, and on the other that plane with an apostrophe *should* no longer be counted as correct. That's self-contradictory. A better paradigm would be to describe it over time, thus:

Plane is a contraction of areoplane, and was originally written with an apostrophe: 'plane. Nowadays, it is much more common to write the word without an apostrophe, to the extent that using an apostrophe may be considered 'incorrect'.

> "Thus, while this article dwells on 'rules', it should be remembered that they are not set in stone for all time. By and large, however, the situation is obvious."

Add 'or all places' after 'all time'. For example, the 'rules' on quotation marks are different on h2g2 to either of Heavy's examples.

> "But with the aid of this handy guide, grammatical foibles will be eradicated for ever. How handy."

No they won't. If even 'master grammarians' get it wrong, I doubt a two-page entry is going to make someone a perfect writer.

> "There are two legal otpions in this case. Elegance would seem to preclude the latter."

Incorrect use of 'legal', unless it's a sueing offence. "There are two equally popular options in this case". Elegance? 'Jesus's' is what people actually say in speech, so it has a certain logic. As LeKZ observed, the former is more common in the UK, that latter more common in the USA.
Oh, and typo.

> "No, because when the possession pertains to a plural noun, like men, for example, everything changes"

Nope, it's nothing to do with 'men' being a plural noun, and everything to do with it not ending in an -s or a sibilant (ie, hissing sound).

> "Impersonal possession"

Nothing to do with being impersonal, and everything to do with it being pronouns. Almost all pronouns don't take an apostrophe. The exception is "one's", which is a comparatively new word. (It used to be the case that "one combs his hair": IE, 'one' turns to 'his' in the possessive case.

> "it's: it is"

Or 'it has'.

> "Quotations"

If he says so. But shouldn't there be a section on 'On h2g2' to say what the writing guidelines on this site are?

> "Pencil's: That means belonging to the pencil, not more than one pencil."

This one, as the simplest example, ought to go first.

> "The 70's: The 70's are in fact the '70s. And don't you forget it!"

Or the "70s", as the leading apostrophe can be dropped in the same way as the leading apostrophe in 'plane. I still think "70's" should be valid, but I can't find any documentary evidence for that, so I'll drop it.

> "1000's: If by some gruesome mischance you feel you need to butcher the beauty of our language by telling us you have lots of things on offer in, say, your poundsaver store, please have the decency to write 1000s."

Suggest append "It *is* permissable, though uncommon, to write sentences like "The number of the beast is three 6's".

> "CD's: The plural of CD is, by convention, CDs. Strictly, CD's may be used too, though this is not at all recomended. This applies to all other abbreviations like HGVs or A to Zs. Capisce?"

I think it'd be better to introduce the two alternatives equally, and then explain *why* one is not recommended. IE:

The plural of CD is either CDs or CD's, with CDs being slightly more common. Using an apostrophe can cause confusion with the possesive. For example "CD's track" might refer to one song on a single CD, or it might refer to a pack of multiple CDs that stalk their prey through the jungles of Taiwan.

> "In a formal essay or letter, using a word like don't is very poor style indeed"

At the best, that's overstating the case. At the worst it's just plain wrong. Contractions are perfectly valid in formal writing, provided they are used in a clear manner.

Missing Info next post...

-Martin

Oh, I see they've given this to me to sub. (that's an evil laugh to you). Be afraid, very afraid, Heavy!

The poor guys away for three weeks, so you might be best off waiting till he comes back before sending the final product back in - just in case he does want to object furiously!

-Lucinda (ain't afraid of no hack-and-slash sub-ed)

and yes, the missing apostrophe in 'guys' was entirely deliberate. Honest!!

-Lucinda (brushing off her smiley)

Off where there's huge amounts of beer on tap, no doubt I wouldn't describe myself as hack 'n' slash, but I may make an exception with UH, since I've met him. I still haven't forgotten that remark about my bernards...

Bernards are sideburns/boards, in case you were worrying...

I'm sure they look very sexy on you...

-Lucinda

Er, stop that.

Too late!

Well, I've edited it for superficial grammatical/GuideML type things, but, what about as far as factual content's concerned? Well, I could just hand it over and forget I'm a linguist for a moment...

Not!!

i am nominally away but cos my holiday plans have gone utterl and comprehensively tits up im stuck at my cousins in atlanta with a compuiter and a connection.

dont listen to lucinda with all the changes! hes so pedantic and will ruin the structural beauty of my article!

you can change factual points, but throwaway comments about master grammarians are there for the flow and for the style rather than cos they are absolute

thanks for doing thsi guys

Listen to Lucinda? I'm sure I will give hir comments due weight and concern, among the other contributions from the PR pages.

Remember, this is my area of expertise (without wishing to sound too pompous, and I'm only trying to help. I've already added a footnote on glottal stops. It's gonna take a while to do all of it...

Hope is sunny over in Georgia - have you been in touch with 2-bit?
Jack

not sunny. is very hot! do your worst to the entry. i trust you

You poor fool. I haven't even finished yet!

well i know more or less where you live

Unfortunately you're 5000 miles away at the moment. But if I am going too far, give me a shout.

i cant actually tell any differences at the moment...anything major, tell me please

I've rewritten lots and reordered several of the paragraphs. I've tried to keep it in the Heavy style though

Sorry, that's not very informative, but I'm off now...

ahhh...youve actually made it a lot better, what with your superior knowledge and all that. thats cool...theres a problem with formatting above CD's but no doubt youll deal with that

re Jesus's vs Jesus' - LeKZ reckoned (at A586640, as you know) there were different rules for proper names versus other words - something else to look up...

> "The second and third person possessive adjectives"

Adjectives? Are they really?

You might want to mention 'yours' and 'theirs' (as in "that typo is yours") - since that's another place where unwanted apostrophes can creep in...