h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What do you call that, Vyvian?

Being poofy.

One man showing love for another is not poofy, its actually very beautiful.

No, it's being poofy and very very girly.

What do you call that, Vyvian?

Being poofy.

It is not, two men showing love for each other is a very beautiful thing actually.

No it isn't. It's being poofy and very very girly.

Next Tuesday, right, I'm going to blow up a panda in Croydon.
Rick: Yeah, right on. Bloody zoos, who needs them?

Neil: Come on guys, I don't think we should let this experience bring us down. After all, what's so wrong with dirty clothes anyway?
Rick: Yeah! you know, what they say - dirty pants, clean botty.
Mike: Dirty duvet, dirty mind.
Vyvyan: Yeah - my knickers are so old, it's only the stubborn understains that are holding them together

Vyvyan: I must be hallucinating. What's a good thing for a hangover?
Mike: Drinking heavily the night before.

Let's make a Tee-Pee out of the desk!

Could I BORROW a cup of SUGAR, PleASE!

I'm going to the basement, I've got a stiff.

It's risotto vyvian!

IT'S SNOW NEIL!

It's risotto vyvian!

Call an ambulance, I've just nailed my legs to the table!

"It doesn't say... Ensure the video ISN'T full of washing up liquid..."

pollution
all around
sometimes up
sometimes down
pollution
are you coming to my town
or am i going to yours
we're on different busses pollution
but we're both using
petrol
bombs!

guess i should have read the backlog first, eh?

Oh, now look what you've done!

Quick, quick, get the picture back before Mr elephant head comes on and starts singing!

Ohhhhhhh, too late!

Rik: And exactly what does "messing with the big boys" mean, Neil?
Neil: Er..this. (Squirts water from a squeezy bottle into Rik's face)


Rikto Vyvian's mother): And tell me Mrs Vyvian why did you give your son a girl's name?
Vyvian's Mother ( To Vyvian): Ooh 'e is a bastard isn't he?

"Oh Cock-a-doodle-do Neil!"

OH yeah!!! Other obsessionals!

I'll probably come back as a lentil

Neil, what is this?
Its risoto Vyvian
Its snow, I know snow when I see it! Its all we've had to eat for the last week.
Don't you want yours then Vyvian? (Mike)

I know, its a bad joke, but then again, death isn't funny.

There's a vampire, in the parcel, in the kitchen!
Oh no, hate mail...

I've been picked up by the cops,
So many times gone by
The grill you for an hour, And they say you're gonna fry
I've been skinned alive and purified, and cut up with a knife
I just got to ketchup with my life

So, does anyone think there is any deeper messages to the young ones other than side splitting comedy?

Codpiece Face!

Think Once,
Think Twice,
Think DON'T Drive Your Car On The Pavement!

Hey, everybody! Hello, Mike, my little Thunderbird puppet! Thunderbirds are go, yes? Come on, let's twist again! Like we did in last Summer, yeah, yeah, yeah... let's twist again, like we didn't do in Moscow because I've never been there of course, you know, I am English person! Hi I am Jerzy, yeah, crazy wacky landlord! You know, I like very much your English punk rock stars, you know, your Lulu, your Dave Clark Five! Oh yes! I think they are F-A-B, that's English for "stupid!", yeah! Okay, fantastic! Hey, Mikey, look! Here, I have some Coca-Cola, yes? We have party, yes? Okay, let's dance, let's do the fog! You know, I am liking very much your Harold MacMillan; thanks to him, I am never having it, yeah!

cant beleve the funniest line in the show was left out
when they move into their new house in the start of season 2 and theres a pile of mail on the floor and
mike says - there probably bills
and neil looks at the camera and says





whos bill????



best line ever

A PACKAGE FROM THE TRANSVAAL, HOW STRANGE!
It says fragile on the side Vyv.
Yeah, that's probly Transvaalian for "Really Hard Drugs"

Can anyone tell me who played the Maniac in the episode: cash?

The maniac was the person who said,"A-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! I've just been round my neighbour's house, to borrow a drill, but he wasn't in. A-ha-ha-ha-ha! So I broke in, and et his fishtank, and I wasn't even hungry. A-ha-ha-ha-ha! You won't catch me with my trousers"

My colleage thinks it was alexei sayle but Im sure it wasn't, please help settle this...