h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

These are for all the women who want a good put-down in response to some of the lame lines they're likely to hear in a bar...

HE: Can I buy you a drink?
SHE: Actually I'd rather have the money.

HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've beenl ooking for a face like yours.

HE: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must've been given your share.

HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.

HE: Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE: Okay, get out.

HE: I think I could make you very happy.
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why? Don't you already have one?

HE: Shall we go see a movie?
SHE: I've already seen it.

HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.

HE: Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.

HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

HE: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE: I'm a female impersonator.

HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.

HE: Your body is like a temple.
SHE: Sorry, there are no services today.

HE: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams.

Sorry to butt in on your conversation, but if
Researcher "198810"
would go back to there own page and then click on the "EDIT PAGE" button and then write a little something about your self then a ACE can come and welcome you there properly
Sorry for interrupting your conversation

Manda

I remember a series of comebacks-to-the-comeback a few years ago...
Does anyone have them?

For example :

HE: Your body is like a temple.
SHE: Sorry, there are no services today.
HE: Here's a donation to restore the exterior.

I remember a series of comebacks-to-the-comeback a few years ago...
Does anyone have them?

For example :

HE: Your body is like a temple.
SHE: Sorry, there are no services today.
HE: Here's a donation to restore the exterior.

TimR, nice to have you around. Just to let you knoe that unless you write an Introduction (Edit button on the right hand side) people can't talk to you!

Drop me a line if you need anything (U188069)

VIPx

I was in a pub with my mate, and a male aquaintance had been boring our socks off. He finally asked Verity for her number. After a perfect three beat pause she said witheringly, "guess" and turned her back on him. YESSS!

Oh, just stunning. I will remember that for future reference...

Thats all very well and good but what about when you're walking down the road and a bunch of idiots in cars rev their engines, toot their horns, whistle, nearly fall out of their car trying to get a good look or just yell out something unrepeatable? There's not much you can do then is there?

I tend to ignore. That and a withering look (which I find hard to pull off) is about all, I think, unless you flirt back!

you could throw pins on the road ahead of them but i think that is illegal.

I like the idea of shot guns but I'm almost certain that is illegal(Oh when will they start selling A***hole licenses, it would be so much more fun than hunting deer, and there is a larger supply as well)

I have a girlfriend who knows a woman who has actually got the better of such a carload of jerks, and the method is simple: Call their bluff.

She turned around with hands on hips and explained very aggressively exactly what she demanded from a man to make him please her. The punks shrank to half size and mumbled something about '...not really meaning it...' before getting the hell out.

I guess it's not something all women could do, and I don't know if it will worsen the situation if the men are shameless enough, but I would have loved to be a fly on the wall when the above happened.

I find

"does your mummy know you're out this late?" works wonders.