The Book of Hat

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The Book of Hat: The New Intelligible Version
Introduction
By reading this article, you are opening your mind to a new and wonderful truth about all parts of the universe and especially hats. Read on, poor lost blobthing!
As you doubtless had no idea, the Book of Hat is based on the teachings of Hat, a great prophet who, it is said, was inspired by almighty Bob. The Mystery of Hats was suddenly revealed to him one day in, of all places, his living room. He instantly quit his job as a hat salesman and, gathering a small group of his closest and least skeptical friends, began to travel the world spreading his new and beautiful truth about all parts of the universe and especially hats. He also changed his name to Hat, which in Hattish means, "hat." (Or, in some translations, "prophet of almighty bob who thinks hats are pretty neat")
And now, as we begin to delve into the ineffable mysteries of the wondrous mind of Hat, prepare yourself by taking seven deep breaths backwards, crossing your toenails, and of course, putting on your very own hat. Prepare to be amazed!
(note: i'm not done yet, so there)


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