The Post Horror Scope
Created | Updated Mar 20, 2002
Have no fear, Mystic Greebs is here, and no, I wasn't kidnapped last week at Cruft's. Thank you for the many, many letters of concern I recieved from my many, many fans out there, you know who you are, need I say more.
I am quite willing to answer all questions and queries regarding this subject, and if wanted I can help with problems from researchers via e-mail. Due to time restrictions I cannot reply to each individual e-mail personally, but will give the answer to your problems on the Horror Scope page. Please send your letters and queries to me Mystic
Greebs.
The Horror Scope is divided rather neatly up into twelve sections, January through to December, and you will be able to tell which section you fall under by looking to the day you joined h2g2.
For those of you with limited understanding, I will explain further. If you joined h2g2 on the 25th April 2001, then your section will be April and you can read your future under that section heading.
JANUARY
An unusual formation of cards reveal that it is time to stop doing that thing that you have been doing for the past few weeks. It would not be a good idea to have anything with a sauce on for the next few days.
FEBRUARY
The nagging suspicion you have for the negative feeling you bear towards the unidentified emotion you have been experiencing lately proves to be nothing more than a flash in the pan. The colour blue
will feature in a big way this week.
MARCH
The Whingy Board reveals that a person you once knew as a woman, who has now become a man called Cedric, has told a lady with a false nose that he has a message for you, 'Do not use the electric tin opener on Friday, or a freak accident may or may not occur.'
APRIL
A salesman with a goat will knock on your door on Monday, he will be very persuasive, but try not to succumb to his patter. Er... did I say goat... sorry, I meant one of those little beard type things, on
the chin. The Tea Leaves can be so bad at spelling sometimes.
MAY
An item from the past will come to light this week. It will reveal that you were lost in the jungle when you were a baby and raised by apes. At last the reason you eat so many bananas is revealed.
JUNE
An old school friend will visit you this week; it will be a time of remembrance, fun and laughter. Maybe this would be a good time to give them back the article of clothing you borrowed from them.
JULY
The stains at the bottom of the Coffee Mug show that a bird in the hand is better than two in the bush. In other words, be happy with what you have, and stop wishing for that which you don't, good things come to he who waits.
AUGUST
The Singing Bush proclaimed that an emotional storm was developing in your future, this might be a good time to batten down the hatches and prepare for what is to come.
SEPTEMBER
The mist parted in the Crystal Ball and revealed the ever looming presence of Uranus. Those missing socks will come to light in a most unexpected location.
OCTOBER
Your health is at risk if you do not take better care of yourself. Eat plenty of roughage, and be prepared to apologise to your nearest and dearest. A sad face will pull at your heartstrings at the end of the week.
NOVEMBER
The Runic Stones reveals that the word, Sorry, could make your life a whole lot easier on Tuesday. The games afoot, so be wary of a man with no toes this coming week.
DECEMBER
Look out for a stranger wearing yellow, as a chance to win a fortune will come to you at the end of the week. Try to steer clear of a large carrot, it is up to no good.
DISCLAIMER
As we all know fortune telling is not an exact science, so Greebo T. Cat, The Post and indeed h2g2 cannot be held responsible for anything printed in The Horror Scope that is not one hundred percent
truthful. To be honest, I think you should all be jolly happy if one percent of the predictions come true.
This statement in no way refutes Ms Cat's mystical gifts. So there!!!
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Mystic Greebs
