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Welcome to I.C.A.R.U.S.

Individuals Campaigning Against Rampant Unchecked Stupidity

The mythical Icarus tried to escape imprisonment by flying away. Alas, he flew too close to the sun. His wings melted and he plummeted into the ocean. What does this have to do with us, the modern I.C.A.R.U.S. We, too are trying to escape imprisonment. Not imprisonment of the body, but of the mind. Our modern culture is full unnecessary things. The instructions on moist towelettes. The phrase "Do Not Lick" on self-stick stamps. These but a few of the signs of the rapidly decreasing IQ of the populace. But there is hope. And that hope is us, the members of
I.C.A.R.U.S. And we shall not fall into the sea.

ICARUS has been off-line for nearly two years now, and we are sure there has been much stupidity generated out there in that time. It is for that reason that ICARUS, once melted and burnt, is rising pheonix like from the ashes, to continue the campain against ramplant, unchecked stupidity.The original entry still exists here.

The above phrase is who we are. That is what our name means. Our dream is that one day, we, the people, will rise above our collective troubles and let the world know that we will not stand for this stupidity. We will not accept things just because someone who claims to be intelligent has told us they are true. We will not buy your food dehydrators and we will not listen to your pseudoscience. We will stand up, and we will tell the world that we already know how to use moist towelettes. We will stand proud, and in that moment, we will win. But we cannot stand up, we cannot declare, and we cannot win. Not without your help. Come. Join us. Fight the good fight.

I.C.A.R.U.S. Members

See list of contributing Researchers for the majority of our members, and as names have changed, do change, they have been removed from who contributed what bit.

But two need listing here.....

  • Icarus, the Founder of Our Cause, now on an extended lunch break.
  • C Hawke the current flame holder

Member Contributions

This is where our observations of the stupidity around us are set down for all to see.
Instructions on moist towelettes (Icarus)

Stupid Labels

  • "Do Not Lick" on self-stick stamps
  • Instructions on toothpick packets A great reference from a DNA book
  • Instructions on toothpaste >
  • "Do not use while sleeping", "Do not use in shower" on hairdryers
  • "Do not attempt to turn off with bare hands or genitals" on chainsaws
  • Instructions on airline peanuts
  • "Open this side" on candy boxes
  • Instructions on soap
  • "On" and "Off" on light switches
  • "For richer flavor, add more" on a can of coffee
  • "Remove teabag when serving" on a box of green tea
  • "In case of ingestion, seek medical attention" on WD-40
  • Do not operate the controller with anything other than your hands. Do not operate the controller with, or attach it to; your head, elbows, other bony parts of your body, face or stomach." on Playstation Dual Shock Controller
  • "Cook for 2 minutes" on noodle packets
  • "Place over cut" on Band-Aids
  • From a motorbike handbook - "A hot exhaust can burn you" "removing your hand from the handlebars will reduce your ability to control the bike" "When riding up steep hilsthe bike may slow down" and many others
  • "Not for Human Consumption" on cans of pet food
  • "This Product Contains Nuts" on a packet of peanuts
  • "Not for Internal Use" on shampoo, sunscreen, etc.
  • "100% Fat" on a package of Lard.
  • "Remove Top Before Using" on a package of pens, "Sharpen before using" on a package of pencils.
  • "Remove Before Firing" on missles
  • "Keep Away From Children and Mice" on a sticky pad designed to catch mice.
  • "Kids, if you need help, ask an adult" on Quaker Instant Oatmeal
  • Kraft Easy Mac has 4-part instructions
  • "USE SENSIBLY:Use only in normal position (in ear)"
  • "Open side on top, pour here" on a coffee mug.
  • "Open before consumption" on a can of Espresso.
  • Warnings telling you not to dispose of batteries in fire.
  • Pictograms with slashes through them instead of written warnings.
  • "This Product is Not for Personal Hygiene Use" on Anti-Perspirant.
  • "Danger: Sharp Object Inside" On Razor Packets.
  • "For Best Results, Start With Clean Bathroom Before Use" on a Bottle of Bathroom Cleaner.
  • "Directions-Open Packet. Eat Nuts." on a Packet of Peanuts.
  • "Do Not Make Illegal Copies of This Disc" on the Windows 98 CD. If you know it's illegal, the warning certainly won't stop you.
  • "May contain traces of nuts" on a package of peanuts.
  • "Do not operate heavy machinery after use" on a bottle of children's (under 6) medicine.
  • "Satisfaction Guarantee: If you are not completely satified, return within 14 days for a full refund" on a time capsule.
  • Serving Suggestions.
  • Instructions on coffee cans
  • "Fire generated from this lighter may cause heat" on a lighter.
  • "Serve this with food" and "Do not open with teeth" on Champagne.
  • "Contents: carrots" on a package of carrots.
  • On a guitar distort pedal: "When battery power is low, the low battery indicator will light, and distortion may occur."
  • "Do not attempt to lift or carry singlehandedly" on a 350 pound soda machine.
  • "Not less than 100% meat" on a package of pepperoni that contains salt, preservatives, and other non-meat ingredients.
  • "Under penalty of law, this tag not to be removed except by the consumer" on pillow/mattress tags.
  • "Please make sure the [insert device here] is plugged into an electrical socket" on computer equipment (ajdecon)
  • "Please use with non-inflammable candle holders" on a package of candles.
  • "May cause Drowsiness" on sleep aids
  • "This is not a toy" on plastic bags.
  • Microwave popcorn comes in plastic that must be removed before use. But the instruction telling you to remove the bag is printed on the paper bag that the popcorn comes in, and it's folded so you can't read it.
  • "Insert the CD-ROM into the CD-ROM drive" on every set of instructions for CDs.
  • Ls-120 "Super floppy" installation guide: "Errors and omissions expected."
  • Instructions of a firework: "Light fuse."
  • "Mums $3.33 each or $9.99 for 3" on a sign.
  • On a set of lights- "For indoor or outdoor use only
  • Only to be used as a beverage on Diet Coke
  • Dust masks that state "Do not protect lungs"
  • Do Not Use as a hair dryer on Hot Air paint stripper
  • Instructions on a cycle helmet
  • BBQ instructions stating for outside use only
  • (Not sure if I believe this one) On Bread knife, not to be inserted in children
  • "Do Noy Eat" on packets of moisture absorbing crystals (NOTE: it does not say "Eat Donuts"
  • Soap label saying "May be slippery when wet"
  • Discalimer on phone fortune telling line stating it was for guidence only and no assurance for accuracy could be given or liability if wrong

Design Stupidity

  • Large Rotating doors on supermarkets, tha make it twice as long to get into supermarket and always syop if you so much as touch the sides (hint there is always a "normal" door for wheelchairs -use it)
  • Corporate Stupidity

    • "Coffee and tea are hot" signs in restaurants, warnings on soup packages that fianl product may be hot
    • Safety videos on airlines flights that show you how use the seatbelt.
    • Ashtrays on non-smoking flights.
    • "To be delivered by an agent of the Federal Government" on junk mail.
    • Infomercials
    • Publishers Clearing House and the Like.
    • Nobody on the top of double-decker buses.
    • Labels that tell you to read the enclosed instructions before buying a closed and sealed container.
    • Companies putting handles on doors that require pushing, then failing to put PUSH signs on them, resulting in people PULLing on them fruitlessly.
    • Batesville Caskets come with a 50-year guarantee.
    • An airline booking two non-adjacant seats for a fat bloater - sorry stout man.
    • Major banks losing millions of £,$, Euro etc by failing to carry out simple checks
    • Advertising cigerettes for sale in a non-smoking cinema
    • Bad manuals, missing manuals, manuals given in PDF format only or in the wrong language, manuals that rely on textlesss drawings which don't show anything
    • Curry's advert - "We deliver 7 days a week, including Sundays"

    dubious Urban myth type listings

    • "Do Not Eat the Large Yellow Mints" in bathrooms
    • "This area is subject to flooding. If you cannot see this sign, Do Not Park Here." on a Sign in a Small Car Park Near a Ferry Port.
    • A man in a police lineup was asked to repeat the words "Give me all your money or I'll shoot." The man's response was to shout "That's not what I said!"
    • A drunken security man asked a colleague at the Moscow bank they were guarding to stab his bulletproof vest to see if it would protect him from a knife attack. It didn't.

    Customer/Provider Stupidity

    • People asking why their calendars aren't Y2K compliant, then asking if there's a way to fix it.
    • Abridged Dictionaries.
    • "Do you work here?" - "er what bit of standing behond a counter, wearing a company name badge and company T shirt don't you understand?"
    • Pyscic Phone lines and PC tarrot
    • Hairdressers who, after cutting your hair, hold up a mirror and ask 'Is it too short?'

    Government Stupidity

    • The Southern Express Way, an Australian bypass that only goes one way at a time and changes about two times a day, causing everybody to get where they're going slower
    • Questions like "Are you now or have you ever been a member of the Communist Party" and "Have you ever been convicted on drug charges" on American Immigration forms.
    • In Maryland, it is illegal to take a lion to the movies.,
    • The National Statistics website stating it cannot assure the accuracy of its data

    General misc Stupidity

    • People giving long speeches on things they've already made clear.
    • The "fast" lane of the freeway ending up slower than the "slow" lane.
    • Tribute WWF bouts with 2nd rate wrestlers "pretending" to be major stars
    • Recursive acronyms. TCP/IP protocol. Scuba apparatus. ATM machine, ISBN number, PIN number

    Scientific Stupidity

    • This other link.
    • All those researchs into why things fet wet, why people are happy, why up is up and all those involving more than 4 dimensions

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