A Conversation for Dealing with Being Dumped
Dump the dumper after being dumped
beautifulMisslee Started conversation May 11, 2009
How could this be? You ask yourself over and over. How could he dump me? Whats wrong with me? What did I do wrong? It was all my fault? I wish I could go back into time? what if I said this instead? yes, our minds work over time and we wonder why we are rejected. Its a painful process. Just two days ago I got dumped by a guy who treated me like a princess. He bought me things, made me feel special, was affectionate. He was completely chivalrous. Although the relationship was fairly new it was pretty intense and everything was natural and very smooth. of course there were a few flaes, but nothing is perfect from either his side or mine. One night we had gone out to a friend's birthday party and I asked him to dance with me. He declined and I was hurt. how could my boyfriend decline a dance with me. i got upset and after feeling a little tipsy I cried. I didnt make a scene as we were standing in a corner and so we ended up going outside for a chat and things were sorted. The next morning we got up and he left before I did to go home and told me not to worry and gave me a kiss and a hug. I had tried calling him later that day but he ignored my call and then the following day I tried again. he sent me a text message saying he needed some time to himself for a few days and was feeling a bit negative towards me but not to worry. I gave him his space and a week had gone by with the odd text exchange in midweek. At the weekend just gone he called me at 10:30pm to tell me he couldnt continue the relationship becasue he wouldnt be able to handle my sensitivity. This was never something I had hidden from him. he always knew I was sensitive and made out like it wasnt somethingthat could be resolved. After all the door opening, the expensive gifts, the love and affeection how could someone just switch off like a tap. He was emotionless when he dumped me on the phone. He was no longer the gentleman that he once was. it was like a completely different person and I felt so guilty for crying at the club that night. I wish I could have gone back to that night and changed everything. I wish I hadnt even gone. maybe this would have never happened. I miss him so much. Although he didnt live with me my flat just feels so empty without him being in my life. everything looks so different. Despite we had only had a very short relationship he made a big impact on my life and I am finding it really hard to cope.
Dump the dumper after being dumped
BellaBritannia Posted Jun 2, 2009
You poor thing - I cried when I read your post, firstly, because I felt so sorry for you, and secondly, because I'm in exactly the same situation. My long-distance relationship has just come to an end for a second time - both times, I was dumped via my Facebook inbox. I've lost over half a stone in weight, my skin is flaking off, I have nightmares about how it ended, and my chest has hurt so much when I've thought about him, I have worried at times that I'm having a heart attack. It's been nearly a month and although I don't cry every day, I still don't feel any better. I'm assured by a good friend that it does get easier, but that's no consolation when I have to spend my lunch hour crying in the toilets at work so I can let it all out. The horrible thing is, I didn't anticipate the 2nd dumping at all - he was the one who wanted to get back together, and he'd recently been so affectionate and sweet.
All I can advise is to let yourself cry if you need to, but try to keep busy - even if it's just reading a book (Dickens is excellent for immersing yourself in another world, especially Bleak House and Our Mutual Friend). Just take care of yourself, and let yourself be looked after by those who really love you. I have no-one to do that for me, as I didn't tell my family we'd gotten back together. So have a good whinge about it, and please, please, don't blame yourself. It sounds as if your ex is the one who's overly sensitive if that's all it takes for him to end things! We won't get over our men overnight, but we will get over them. x
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