A Conversation for Advice on Coming Out

I came out after 17 years

Post 1


For 18 years I knew, inside, that I was gay. I kept up the front, went out with blokes, even convinced myself so well that I 'fell in love' a couple of times. In 2000 (I was 29), I made some new friends through a society I joined. Two of those were Anne and Dawn, a gay couple who showed me, along with some of their friends, that being gay didn't have to be an issue. I came out to them, but no further as I'd still not been with a woman and didn't want to face the comments of "But how do you know you're gay if you've never been with a woman". I just hadn't met the right one. Until the end of that year, when a lass called Tracy joined a role-playing group I was in. On New Year's Eve she asked me out. I panicked for 2 weeks then gave in to the strange floaty feelings, and told my sister I was going out on a date with Tracy.

I was lucky - none of my friends are homophobic, I have a supportive family, and I've found a true life partner in Tracy. I just wanted people to know that it doesn't have to be that hard, and if your friends don't support you, they're not your friends. Everyone at work knows too, and they don't care either - all they know is that I've been happier in the last year or so than they've ever seen me, and that can't be a bad thing, can it?

Trust your friends and family - people who really love you will understand - but don't treat the issue like it's an unusual thing, that makes it worse - act as if it's a fairly normal, commonplace thing, and that's how they'll treat it too - although cultural and religious issues didn't come into accounf for me, and I understand how they can make it a whole lot harder.

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I came out after 17 years

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