A Conversation for Professor Branestawm - Literary Inventor

Adding and taking away..

Post 1

coelacanth

Some things to check before this is finished. I tried very hard to make sure a sub ed and editor had very little work to do and Peer Review was kind too. However, some changes are needed. Punctuation. Some commas before the word "and" have been added to my entry. They aren't necessary. I think I have found 6 including one sentence where they have been added twice. (I see a few other commas I didn't put in but I guess that it's a matter of personal use.) I'm not very happy with sentences beginning with "And" either but it's happened twice when a footnote has been added to the main body of the text. My own error of "it's" "...Pagwell and it's neighbours..." is still there. I didn't notice it when it was in the footnote but it laughs at me every time I look. "It's" and "its" confuses us all sometimes. However you no more need a possessive apostrophe here than you do with "ours" "theirs" "hers" etc. Footnotes I know I used too many in the original but I hear a large *clank* where some of them have been moved up and don't seem to fit. (eg "He, at one point, became...." which I didn't write.) Others I feel need to be restored as footnotes. I quote from the guidelines: "Footnotes are also used to great effect on h2g2 as witty asides" That was my intention with my Footnote 7. I wanted the reader to ponder the problem a while before taking a look at the footnote. Including it in the body of the text has spoiled this. My Footnote 3 was intended to be a joke. Or perhaps someone can write one for me, but it seems a shame to miss the opportunity. It was suggested in the Peer Review thread after all. Late changes I made some before I knew it had been recommended and pointed them out to Sam here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F31065?thread=143929 They need to be included as does a quote for Mrs Flittersnoop. I'm just finding one and I'll post it in this thread separately. A picky old


Adding and taking away..

Post 2

Lochinvar

Picky is right, but you are wrong. Sorry.

I've been through that article twice today, and I'll go through it again tonight, but all of those commas are needed.

If there is a complete sentence on each side of a conjunction (e.g. and, but, or, etc.) then a comma is needed.

The dog bit the boy and was taken by the dogcatcher.
The dog bit the boy, and he was taken by the dogcatcher.

If there is a phrase beginning with "which", then a comma is needed (I can, however, change some of the "which"s to "that"s and avoid the problem if you wish.).

The dog bit the boy, which hit him.
The dog bit the boy that hit him.

As per your wishes I have inserted a lame footnote joke. I keep wanting to stab myself in the eye when I read it, but c'est la vie. The other footnotes were, admittedly, better in.

Lochinvar


Adding and taking away..

Post 3

Lochinvar

By the way, I'm sure the readers will still ponder the creation of the toilet flusher even though they know that some of the parts won't be used. I will not replace footnote 7.


Adding and taking away..

Post 4

Lochinvar

I got tired of waiting and submitted the entry. It is now pending sans Flittersnoop quote.


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