So you found the place after all? I was afraid you were a goner after that last skirmish. Well, pull up a bucket for now. The chairs and tables will come later.

It's just a shell right now, bare two-by-fours and leftover scraps of tin from that downed bomber. Used to be a dance studio before the Takeover, but the instructor was German. She knew she wasn't welcomed by the new regime. Now it's just the F***ing Pub¹.

The hunk of driftwood for the bar was my idea. I know it's hard to balance a drink in some places, but I like it. You'll like it too, if you expect me to serve you any drinks across it. ...Right, I thought so.

Anyway, the interior decorating is the least of our remodelling headaches. I talked to this squirrelly carpenter dude who always wore this long scarf. He said he'd hooked me up with some doors for cheap, but I can't keep track of them. There's at least five of them leading out to the jungle, but the jungle keeps changing. Sometimes it's Mexico, sometimes Cambodia, sometimes you can see the Congo straight outside the door. And the back door opens to sand. I think it comes out somewhere South of Mongolia, but I can't be sure.

It works nice for a hide-out. They sure as hell won't be able to find the place. But it can be a long walk home if you're not careful. All I know is I have to come and go through the skylight in the attic, because that's the only one that opens to Mississippi.

The place is basically steamy all the time, and we probably won't be able to afford A/C or a dehumidifier for a while. But the drinks are cold, and I got Reverend Horton Heat booked to play here next month. So that should be a good show.

Meanwhile, pull up that pickle bucket and let me know what else we need. I could have sworn that ceiling fan was turning okay yesterday. Can you see what's the matter with it? Yeah, I know, just stand on the bucket. I don't have a screwdriver. How bout a spoon?

Well, obviously still under construction. But it should be a nice place to hang out and plan the Revolution....

[Even if you're not sympathetic to The Cause, we'll still serve you here. Intelligent conversation by non-Zaphodistas is welcomed. Trolls will be escorted off the premises by Shortround (pictured above).]