h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Pluto:Have you been eating?
Persephone: No (with mouth full)
Pluto: there is pomegranate all over your face. i told you not to eat anything.
Persephone: I was starving
Pluto: now you have to stay in the underworld.
Persephone: i like it here
Pluto: your mother will kill me
Persephone: But youre immortal!
Pluto: I know your mother. She'll find a way

Insert:-

Persephone (defiantly) Look, what do I have to look forward to up there anyway? Snow, freezing rain, hail, grey short days... brings me legs out in blotches if I don't wear those unfeminine-looking sixty dener tights with the hairs curling out of them. Ugggh. (shivers)
Pluto - Uggh... oh I see, the boots.
Persephone - I know what Mum wants, but face it, she's an embarrassment when Im rounf the taverna with the other goddesses' daughters.. If your mum has to be a Goddess, right, it should be something less frumpy than Demeter, Goddess of Breakfast Cereal. Oh, it'sd duty this, duty that, duty the other, but that doesn't change that it's sodding winter up there. How many seeds is that?
Pluto - oh, er, five, I think.
Persephone - Good. It's warm down here. I like it. Let's call it one month per seed, so that's October, November, December, January, February, then upstairs again in March when the weather turns for the better. Call it a mid-winter break in the warm, right?
Pluto - that's an all-winter break, more like.
Persephone: Can you cope with a part-time Queen of Hades, Pluto, my love? And that name needs some working on. Makes you sound like a cartoon dog or something... I hear up North, the Vikings call it Hell...

That just improved my lunchtime quite a lot. Lovely!

You're most welcome

And I forgot the punchline!


PLUTO (mutters) Stitched myself up here, haven't I... freeloading fat cow like you down here every winter eating me out of house and Underworld and moaning the central heating isn't up high enough. I mean, she doesn't have to face the bleedin' bills, does she, there's a [I][B]reason [/B][/I]why Hades is mainly a place of cold dark twilight clamminess, and it's called the heating bill! Hell? Never a truer word was spoken... (out loud) Just going to feed Cerberus, my love! Three tins of Pedigree Chum and a can opener, that's the way...

I'm glad you all liked my post

Loved it, Manuela. Hope I din't steal your acclaim - your idea - but I saw how it could be expanded on. I'd never have thought of it if you hadn't posted!

Dont panic, you didn't steal anything.
When I read yours, I laughed out loud.

Demeter and Hades already had sibling problems, but now they have mother in law/son in law problems too

(if you think this is a messed up family, look up oedipus)