A Conversation for Bisexuality
Phryne- 'Best Suppurating Actress' Started conversation Jul 23, 2001
This may be all rambly, sorry.
I've never been bothered by orientation, or worried about it- I have several openly gay friends, some of whom didn't even make an issue about coming out (they just assumed we knew). I always assumed I was straight (not that I was worried about other options, it just didn't seem important) and I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years; in the last few months, I've changed my definition to bisexual. This doesn't bother me at all, in fact I find it quite fascinating. It doesn't bother my boyfriend either (he finds it interesting to talk about, and since our relationship is really good there's no worries that I'll go off with someone else. IMHO this issue is no different than for straight people, I don't think I'd cope with an open relationship either).
I'm aware of certain weird attitudes towards bisexuality. I was telling a (gay) friend of mine about a character in a story I'm writing, who for plot reasons is bi. He was really not pleased, and stated something like "Everyone's bi at the moment... I'm getting really fed up of it!" There does seem to be the idea that we're pretending. Also, I know of two other female bis who were somewhat obnoxious (as people). Both scream it out at every opportunity- nothing wrong with stating it, but it gets tiresome if it's brought into every single conversation, however irrelevent. Also, one of them (former friend of mine, I was one of the first people she told, and she was quite worried about it) would refer to herself as 'gay' quite often. I thought this was a little unfair to gay people, for one and sometimes she did seem to be exaggerating for shock effect. So my experiences so far are not particularly encouraging.
One thing I have noticed, though- so far, since my friends aren't aware yet, I can't guage the reaction of straight/gay people. However, we are also involved in BDSM, and although mainly private, we take an interest in scene activities. I've noticed that this community is generally very tolerant of all orientations- I suppose it's the respect which our relationships are based on coming through. You're expected to respect someone else's preference, even though you yourself aren't into it. Since there are so many activities within the scene, it'd fall apart if people started taking against others who don't share their preferences. I've noticed (with me personally, I don't know about others) that there are parallels with coming out, in that BDSM etc. becomes so important to you personally you would rather let people know. (This could be mentioned in the article, maybe.)
So far on the Guide, however, it's all been lovely... I've occasionally mentioned it when relevent (like on the Your Beautiful thread) and no one's been surprised. Some people have wanted to know my ideas, but I haven't been- and don't expect to be- offended by anything so far.
Helpful article, BTW, in that there aren't that general references to it in the same way as homosexuality. It usually seems to all be lumped together.
Sorry for rambling, but it's late at night and everyone's offline and neglecting my wonderful Conversations. Grrr.
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