A Conversation for How to Best Prepare for Old Age
Oengus (1+7-5)*(5+4+5) Started conversation May 18, 2001
Is it really better to regret something you have done, or something you haven't done?
In your twilight years there are bound to be regrets and it's really up to you to decide what they are going to be. Anything else I write here will be an opinion so I'll see if this thread leads anywhere and rejoin it later.
Jabberwocky Posted May 23, 2001
I've been thinking about this quite a lot recently, and I'm glad someone else brought it up.
I really don't know what to do about getting older. The thought of it scares me terribly because I think I will die full of more regret than anything else. That fear is what seems to be what's keeping me from finding some sort of inner peace, some spiritual center. I have so many regrets piled up already, and whenever I make any sort of important decision I always regret, at least a little bit, not doing the other. Sometimes I worry because I can't keep my mind off it. I think I'm really a wreck.
Sorry to go on and on about this. I know this isn't some sort of group therapy site. I just wanted to add what I think about regret.
Traveller Posted May 23, 2001
Dwelling on what could have been is largely a futile activity. To deal with old age I just need to refect on the statement my fater made "I am not older, I just look different"
David Emery Posted Jun 1, 2001
Living with regret is the only regrettable practice in life. It's the self-chastizing equivalent to walking around with a storm cloud hovering over your head.
Just keep in mind that every decision you've made has put you where you are today. It has made you who you are and given you richly desired experience. Life should never get stuck; it is a work in progress.
Researcher 178719 Posted Jun 1, 2001
In the words of Kris Kristofferson (I think, I know it was some country artist).
'I'll never know till its over
If I'm right or I'm wrong loving you
But I'd rather be sorry for something I done
Than for something that I didn't do.'
Although this is particularly about love I feel it is a good philosophy to apply to life generally, if a little hard at times. If we worry too much about the consequences of our actions and possible later regrets we would never do anything. And if we regret something we've done at least we can learn from that mistake. This doesn't mean however I'm advocating taking the type of risks we geneerally don't have time to regret as they have such a negative effect on our health (i.e. they kill us)
Willem Posted Jun 3, 2001
What about hurting other people? I have lots and lots of regrets about the way I have treated other people in the past. I know that I will go to my grave still carrying the burden of these regrets. But you know what? I would rather die regretting these things than not regretting these things, because if I die not regretting these things it will mean that I had never learnt how wrong they were.
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