h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I really like this entry because it describes the writing process so well: the invectives, the blood, the sweat and the .

But as one of the pesky peer reviewers I have to note that you used the language name of "gibberish". I am sure that you know that this journal uses the h2g2-adv-v2 terminology and thus you should use the term "gibberese". If the old terminology is used, the friendly Gibbers may get offended.

Accepted for publication with minor revision.

Conratulations!

If only the comments I normally had to deal with were so straightforward...

I agree fully!
But we have to go on, and write more, and more, and more ...

Oooh, I dug up an old list from the depths of my computer...


Understanding Research Papers – common phrases and their translations


It has long been known that... - I haven't bothered to look up the reference

It may be shown that - I couldn't find a reference

It has long been known - I don't understand the theory

It is believed - I think

It is generally believed - Somebody else told me so

It is not unreasonable to assume - If you believe this, you'll believe anything

Of great theoretical importance - I find it interesting

Of great practical importance - I can get some mileage out of it

While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to these questions... - The experiments didn't work out, but I figured I could at least get a publication out of it...

The W-Pb system was chosen as especially suitable to show the predicted behavior... - The fellow in the next lab had some already made up

Very high purity...
High purity...
Extremely high purity...
Super-purity...
Spectroscopically pure...

- Composition unknown except for exaggerated claims of the supplier

A fiducial reference line... - A scratch

Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study... - The results of the others didn't make sense and were ignored...

...handled with extreme care during the experiments - ...not dropped on the floor

The 4 hour sample was not studied - I dropped it on the floor

The 4 hour determination may not be significant - I dropped it on the floor, but scooped most of it up

Typical results are shown by - The best results are shown by

Melting sharply at 72° - Melting point 65-79° with decomposition

The significance of these results is unclear - Look at the pretty artifact

It has not been possible to provide definitive answers - The experiment was negative, but at least I can publish the data somewhere

Correct within an order of magnitude – Wrong

The most reliable values are those of Jones - He was a student of mine

It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding... -I don't understand it

Unfortunately, a quantitative theory to account for these effects has not been formulated - Neither does anybody else

Although some detail has been lost in reproduction, it is clear from the original micrograph - It is impossible to tell from the micrograph

Presumably at longer times... - I didn't take the time to find out

The agreement with the predicted curve is:
excellent - fair
good - poor
satisfactory - doubtful
fair - imaginary
...as good as could be expected - non-existent

These results will be reported at a later date - I might get around to this sometime

These investigations proved highly rewarding - My grant is going to be renewed

I thank X for assistance with the experiments and Y for useful discussions - X did the experiments and Y explained them to me

It might be argued that - I have such a good answer for this objection that I shall now raise it

It is hoped that this work will stimulate further work in the field
-This paper isn't very good, but neither are any of the others on this miserable subject