A Conversation for How to Write a Scientific Paper

Great entry! But ...

Post 1


I really like this entry because it describes the writing process so well: the invectives, the blood, the sweat and the smiley - wah .

But as one of the pesky peer reviewers I have to note that you used the language name of "gibberish". I am sure that you know that this journal uses the h2g2-adv-v2 terminology and thus you should use the term "gibberese". If the old terminology is used, the friendly Gibbers may get offended.

Accepted for publication with minor revision. smiley - bubbly

Conratulations!smiley - cake

Great entry! But ...

Post 2

Danny B

smiley - laugh

If only the comments I normally had to deal with were so straightforward...

smiley - cheers

Great entry! But ...

Post 3


smiley - biggrin
I agree fully! smiley - cheers
But we have to go on, and write more, and more, and more ... smiley - evilgrin

Great entry! But ...

Post 4

Malabarista - now with added pony

Oooh, I dug up an old list from the depths of my computer...

Understanding Research Papers – common phrases and their translations

It has long been known that... - I haven't bothered to look up the reference

It may be shown that - I couldn't find a reference

It has long been known - I don't understand the theory

It is believed - I think

It is generally believed - Somebody else told me so

It is not unreasonable to assume - If you believe this, you'll believe anything

Of great theoretical importance - I find it interesting

Of great practical importance - I can get some mileage out of it

While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to these questions... - The experiments didn't work out, but I figured I could at least get a publication out of it...

The W-Pb system was chosen as especially suitable to show the predicted behavior... - The fellow in the next lab had some already made up

Very high purity...
High purity...
Extremely high purity...
Spectroscopically pure...

- Composition unknown except for exaggerated claims of the supplier

A fiducial reference line... - A scratch

Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study... - The results of the others didn't make sense and were ignored...

...handled with extreme care during the experiments - ...not dropped on the floor

The 4 hour sample was not studied - I dropped it on the floor

The 4 hour determination may not be significant - I dropped it on the floor, but scooped most of it up

Typical results are shown by - The best results are shown by

Melting sharply at 72° - Melting point 65-79° with decomposition

The significance of these results is unclear - Look at the pretty artifact

It has not been possible to provide definitive answers - The experiment was negative, but at least I can publish the data somewhere

Correct within an order of magnitude – Wrong

The most reliable values are those of Jones - He was a student of mine

It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding... -I don't understand it

Unfortunately, a quantitative theory to account for these effects has not been formulated - Neither does anybody else

Although some detail has been lost in reproduction, it is clear from the original micrograph - It is impossible to tell from the micrograph

Presumably at longer times... - I didn't take the time to find out

The agreement with the predicted curve is:
excellent - fair
good - poor
satisfactory - doubtful
fair - imaginary
...as good as could be expected - non-existent

These results will be reported at a later date - I might get around to this sometime

These investigations proved highly rewarding - My grant is going to be renewed

I thank X for assistance with the experiments and Y for useful discussions - X did the experiments and Y explained them to me

It might be argued that - I have such a good answer for this objection that I shall now raise it

It is hoped that this work will stimulate further work in the field
-This paper isn't very good, but neither are any of the others on this miserable subject

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