Scandal for the Mayor?
Created | Updated Jun 20, 2003
Last week we all bore witness to the absolvement of the Filched Fenny Fish Felon. Or should I say *apparent* absolvement.
Indeed, while snooping around, I came across an accusation put forth by Sporkulious
Eglon just weeks after the case had begun:
'OF COURSE!! Helping Fenny find her fish indeed! You blasphemous fiend! How blind we have all been, when all along Fenny has been paying you to... wink... find her fish when she is REALLY paying to keep your mouth shut! Why didn't I see this sooner? We all know that Fenny and da' Baron have unlimited supplies of fish, thus it would be no skin of her back to slide a few in your direction now and again. Of course!
Expect to hear from me later!'
Harsh accusations, to say the least! Especially coming from the 'Leader of San Juan' and 'King of the
Moon', appointed by the Mayor herself! Needless to say, this did not go unnoticed (for too long) by Afgncaap:
'Despite what you may think, my connection with the mayor is purely business related. Also, I doubt that I've ever really met 'da' Baron', so I don't see how I'm connected with him. The only way I can imaginebeing connected to him is via the generalinter-connectedness of all things. Anyway, the reason why I claim to accept money in 'fish or doughnuts' is because those were the first two offers of payment I received. Besides, I don't need fish. I have a secret
processing plant that allows me to make as many as I want. Watch: Besides, these are serious charges! I have been known to take cases basically because I can do people a favor. But trust me, when I present my conclusion there will be much incriminating evidence against the mayor and... Gasp!... Bluebottle!'
With his hasty disavowment, Afgncaap stuck to his story whilst at the same time throwing suspicion on himself. Exactly why was he so quick to deny Sporkulious' theory? Why did he feel the need to explain his reasons for receiving payment in fish? The questions don't end there.
When Afgncaap questioned Sporkulious Eglon as to his thoughts on Afgncaap's findings, Sporkulious replied with a cryptic
'no comment.'
Why the sudden change from questioning to seeming impartial? Has Sporkulious been silenced by Mayor Fenny, fearing his life if he pursues this topic? Has he been paid off, just as Afgncaap? Or is this all just a sham, hyped up to spark more interest in the Post, h2g2's own newspaper that Afgncaap, Sporkulious Eglon, and Mayor Fenchurch M. Mercury are all members of, and subscribers to?
Will time truly tell?
The Virtual Mayor of London Election Archive
Written by Anonymous, fearing his/her/its life if his/her/its identity be known.
