h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

(Deep Breath expecting flames)
Thoughts from a fella:-
Dutch Cap:-
Even when fitted correctly has at least 2 drawbacks
(1) Not at all reliable (I know, believe me I know!!)
(2) Bloody uncomfortable for the male partner, the only comfortable/acceptable psoition is Spoons (I know, etc.)

Depo Provera:-
Great except for complete loss of female sexdrive. once a week OK, once every six months under protest not good for relationship (I know, etc.)

Rhythm Method:-
Johnny Mathis tapes OK
Johnny Mathis CDs not OK

And another thing!!

In China there is a simple, safe REVERSIBLE form of vasectomy using nothing more than a needle, a syringe and silicon sealant such as is found in many bathrooms the world over. The silicone is injected into the Vas Deferens under local anaesthetic and within a few minutes the patient is back on the street as if nothing untoward had happened. 95% effective and 95% reversible. So WHY do we not have it here in the West??? Could it be something to do with the vast profits the pharmaceutical companies would lose out on???
Over to you all.

The contraceptive patch is also a good option. It works in precisely the same way as HRT patches, delivering the hormones transdermally into the bloodstream. On the other hand, the contraceptive pill delivers the hormones to the gut and only then into the bloodstream. The transdermal option has three major advantages:

* Smaller doses can be used for the same effect
* Vomiting or diarrhea do not affect the contraceptive's efficacy (whereas with the Pill, after a bout of food poisoning and throwing up, for example, one is advised to use back-up contraception until the next round of Pills)
* The patch is changed once weekly, and so it is far easier to remember than the Pill - the patch should be changed within a 24-hour period, too, rather than the 2-hour window recommended with the Pill.

The American website for the patch is http://www.orthoevra.com/

For the person interested in non-surgical vasectomies, I have no idea whether the Chinese method has been approved in the UK, but vasectomies can be done nowadays through keyhole surgery, which has to be a better option (http://www.no-scalpelvasectomy.co.uk/).

The "Female Condom" heading looked so empty! Here's some filler...

The female condom consists of a non-latex (polyethylene, I think) sheath, larger by far than a male (traditional) condom, but with the same basic structure -- vaguely cylindrical, domed closure on one end, rolled hem on the open end. Floating freely inside the closed end is a soft plastic ring.

Insertion (unlike the male condom) can be performed up to several hours before intercourse, but would most likely be ...annoying (for reasons stated later). Correctly inserting the female condom takes a fairly detailed knowlege of your anatomy and a decent amount of flexibility, not unlike using a diaphragm. The ring inside the closed end is pinched into an oval shape to facilitate its fitting into the vaginal opening. This is one of the more difficult bits as the condoms are pre-lubricated (and usually come with a small packet of extra lubricant) and slippery as the dickens. Once the ring portion is fully inside, it must be maneuvered to fit up against the cervix and sort of wedged behind the ridge of bone that I think is part of your pelvis. This can be tricky at first, is decidedly awkward-looking (if performed in front of company), and is probably not for squeamish types who think non-applicator tampons are ishy. When correctly inserted, there should be about 1/2 to 1 inch of the open end protruding outside of the body, and it should be stable enough to resist a light tug.

Care must be taken to ensure that the end of the condom remains outside the body during intercourse, and that the penis is going inside of the condom, rather than pushing it aside. This is most easily accomplished by holding the edges of the condom open and against the body during initial penetration. This also can be less than romantic.

Removal of the female condom should take place relatively soon after male climax (to ensure that no semen spills out) and is fairly simple -- gently pull on the protruding end, similar to removing a tampon. A handy trick to keep mess at a minimum is to twist the end around once or so to close off the contents, sort of like spinning your garbage bag closed.


(personal experience follows)
I have a latex allergy and, at the time, non-latex male condoms were new, thick and not very sensitive (or such was the male opinion). My doctor suggested the recently released female condom, so I decided to give it a try. I had a 15-minute wrestling match attempting to correctly insert it -- at one point the ring actually shot across the room! It felt unusual and made embarassing noises comparable to plastic grocery bags in mud. Concern about whether the end was staying on the outside and giggling fits due to the bizarre noises sort of killed the mood.

In theory, I think putting non-chemical, non-invasive contraception in the hands of women is a wonderful idea. In practice, I found (for me) female condoms to be one of the least sexy forms of birth control I've ever encountered.