h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Nice entry.
We appear to have a "minor" infestation of ants in our kitchen which Mrs B is uneasy about (who wouldn't be?). I have no desire to rip the kitchen apart to get to the nest - so will block off exits with sticky tape.
Have you any other ideas?

Remove all food sources - clean behind and under the cooker and fridge and then watch the ants to see where they are going for food. If the food source disappears they will move house. If they are small ants, they will probably have found a source of fats or sugars. Larger ants may be on the scrounge for cereals and flour.

If things start getting really bad, and you're having trouble shifting them there is a drastic solution.

Find one of the entrances to the nest, and pour down it a kettle full of boiling water, then follow it up with some lighter fluid. The tricky part is getting the fluid right so that there's enough to do the job, but not too much. Anyway, the water should be hot enough to turn most of the lighter fluid into vapor. You now have an ants nest full of flammable gas. Apply a match, and watch for little puffs of smoke from the other entrances.

Nasty, but effective.

Bez
(I love the smell of lighter fluid in the morning)

*gives Bez a very stern look*

*looks very sheepishly, before handing over the can of lighter fluid he had hidden behind his back*

Sorry

And the can in your other hand, if you please.

*taps little foot impatiently*

Aaaaw!

*Reluctantly hands it over, along with the Zippo hidden in his sock*