Aliens And What To Do if You See One
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
There are a number of things you can do when being visited by people from another world. The options will obviously change depending on the circumstances of the visitation.
For example you are a mountain goat herder tending your flock when you notice that some of your flock levitating a good twenty foot in the air, and just above is a strange glowing craft with no visible markings. Now you could run away screaming they are coming for us all you fools, which would be pretty pointless because, firstly you are a mountain goate herder and you are in the mountains so people aren't really going to hear you. You could quickly go back to the hut and get the 12bore shot gun and try blasting it. This is of course not adviseable as usually they have some sort of invisible forcefield which can only be deactivated by downloading a computer virus from a MAC compatable labtop, they may just decide to shoot you with there thermo nuclear raygun, becasue wouldnt you feel silly. You would be dead, as would your flock of sheep and you would have spoilt the surrounding countryside for all of those back packers and ramblers.
In fact the best thing to do is to get a torch with some different coloured crete paper and some form of midi keyboard with an amp and then try and communicate with them ala close encounters as apparently aliens like that sort of thing, although remember people its considered bad manners to start with a c minus a b sharp is the preffered starting note. If you dont have any of that then try whistling loudly and waving your arms to gain your attention.
Now that you have gained there attention its time to think about what your going to do. If they are hostile then death will be instantanious. However if they are grey they will more than likely tell you the perils the Earth is about to face and it might be an idead to bring a notepad and pen as they usually finish off with mind wiping device. If they are not grey it is usually expected of the abductee to scream wildly as some form of anal proble usually follows, along with other minor experiments.
Sometimes you will be expected to have sex with an alien which can be quite tricky, if you are female then its a case of they will impregnate you then remove it so you dont have to worry to much as its usually completed in 20 min. If your male, then you are responsible for starting a alien hybrid race, so remember personal hygene is a must. Always make sure you have some polos or other minty fresh alternative handy. Try and enjoy the experience but dont act over eager or they will know your a tourist!
Once they have finished with you, you will probably find there has been some times loss, and you will probably of lost a couple of sheep but thats fast food for you. Remember noone will believe you try and tell them so its best to keep it to yourself unless the News of the World or Sunday Sport offer you lots of money for an exclusive. So remember these words of wisdom and the planet Earth might just survive into the 22nd century
For example you are a mountain goat herder tending your flock when you notice that some of your flock levitating a good twenty foot in the air, and just above is a strange glowing craft with no visible markings. Now you could run away screaming they are coming for us all you fools, which would be pretty pointless because, firstly you are a mountain goate herder and you are in the mountains so people aren't really going to hear you. You could quickly go back to the hut and get the 12bore shot gun and try blasting it. This is of course not adviseable as usually they have some sort of invisible forcefield which can only be deactivated by downloading a computer virus from a MAC compatable labtop, they may just decide to shoot you with there thermo nuclear raygun, becasue wouldnt you feel silly. You would be dead, as would your flock of sheep and you would have spoilt the surrounding countryside for all of those back packers and ramblers.
In fact the best thing to do is to get a torch with some different coloured crete paper and some form of midi keyboard with an amp and then try and communicate with them ala close encounters as apparently aliens like that sort of thing, although remember people its considered bad manners to start with a c minus a b sharp is the preffered starting note. If you dont have any of that then try whistling loudly and waving your arms to gain your attention.
Now that you have gained there attention its time to think about what your going to do. If they are hostile then death will be instantanious. However if they are grey they will more than likely tell you the perils the Earth is about to face and it might be an idead to bring a notepad and pen as they usually finish off with mind wiping device. If they are not grey it is usually expected of the abductee to scream wildly as some form of anal proble usually follows, along with other minor experiments.
Sometimes you will be expected to have sex with an alien which can be quite tricky, if you are female then its a case of they will impregnate you then remove it so you dont have to worry to much as its usually completed in 20 min. If your male, then you are responsible for starting a alien hybrid race, so remember personal hygene is a must. Always make sure you have some polos or other minty fresh alternative handy. Try and enjoy the experience but dont act over eager or they will know your a tourist!
Once they have finished with you, you will probably find there has been some times loss, and you will probably of lost a couple of sheep but thats fast food for you. Remember noone will believe you try and tell them so its best to keep it to yourself unless the News of the World or Sunday Sport offer you lots of money for an exclusive. So remember these words of wisdom and the planet Earth might just survive into the 22nd century
