Pure Esc-ape-ism

We party in Gibraltar, get to meet those cute rock apes,

Lure them back to our place with the finest Bordeaux grapes.

We can pick the stock market as well as any man:

Invest our profits wisely in a monkey business plan.

Nicky Clarke comes in each Monday to remove our fleas,

Charlie Dimmock came with Alan Titchmarsh planting trees.

Now we do what any ape would be so proud to do:

Keep a Michael Jackson in our little human zoo.

Every afternoon we drink Earl Grey from Wedgwood china;

All our friends agree they've never seen tea parties finer.

Watch a Cheetah video; then underneath the stars,

Quaff banana daiquiris in classy monkey bars.