h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

As one of these filthy smoker creatures, I'd just like to mention that smokers will blow smoke upwards as a method of not blowing it in non-smokers' faces when surrounded by them. We're actually being nice, not arrogant or over-confident.

And we appreciate it, really we do. And as soon as you can learn not to hold fags down by your sides when we've wandering around pubs so we don't get burnt and the smoke rises into our faces that will make it pretty perfect.

Sometimes hot ash is the only way to get to the bar in a crowded pub

Not that that's something that a nice guy like me would ever do, of course. I'm sweet and innocent, me!

Idon´t want to annoy my non smoking fellow citizens, neither do I want to appear subordinate. So how the bloody hell do I blow the smoke towards the ceiling with my nostrils pointing to the floor (barring standing on my hands of course)?

Don't worry about it! The same people who bitch about you smoking don't seem to mind the convenience of their cars. Cars exhust is MUCH worse than cigarette smoke!

If you find it hard to blow smoke in an upwards direction, I have a couple of pointers that will help you through the way to Absolute confidence of blowing smoke upwards.

- First inhale the smoke in anyway you feel comfortable.

- While the smoke is resting in your lungs, make a slight gap between your upperlip and bottomlip. To avoid the smoke backfiring up your nose, try and place the gap in one of the corners of your mouth. slightly push your bottomlip infront of your upperlip, still maintaining the gap.

- Now we have come to the point of exhaling. Yes, this the impressing part. Simply blow the smoke though the gap in the corner of your mouth. You will find it flowing in the upward direction you first set out on making it do.

If you want to put an interesting twist to it. Do the same thing in the other corner of your mouth. At the same time.

Oh yes! I almost forgot. The problem many people encounter while doing this, is not being able to close the nostrils without closing your whole throat. This is nor my problem or my territory. but if you look it up im sure you will find some thing that will help you

i particularly don"t smoke fistly i can"t afford secondly i am allergic But i like watching others smoking on screen it adds somewhat to their evil character they look ominous and strong a person alone can spend time smoking confidently