h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well, maybe if you get one of those Daniel Jackson haircuts & some specs and a nervous wry look maybe I'll swoon for you toooooo... or maybe not.... who knows!!

What do you mean by "couple of years" I'd say you're still under 25????

Try not to worry too much about Bagpuss. It's not important in the grand scheme of things. And what do you care? Your sister (as did Emily before her) will love him. May I also recommend (from the Dragons Friendly Society) the Noggin videos. Brilliant.

I saw that episode. Load of rubbish. I think she went off him then because he gave up the hope of getting back to Voyager so quickly. Big girls' blouse that he is (although, still cute). And what about the time her & Paris evolved away and had babies (and, according to her, she jumped his bones)? It's hard to imagine anyone getting any action in those uniforms anyway. Seexxxyyy!

Clapton and Clapton's music are (to me) two separate entities. I went off him (music) shortly after Journeyman, although I liked most of Pilgrim. Tears in Heaven is really awfully sad (supposedly about his son, but written for the film Rush). And as for the re-vamped Layla: just as bad as finally getting to see Springsteen and he sprung an accoustic Born to Run on me. Arrggghhhh! But Eric himself (apart from his receeding chin) is a babe. And I'll fight anyone who says otherwise!

I didn't manage to decipher your t-shirt (smoking pumpkn pic) but I'll bet you have a few LPs stashed around the place? Probably a bit of Led Zep? Pearl Jam? Ken Dodd?
Sho
x

I'm a sarky intellectual snob, if that helps? But basically I just slipped briefly into the troglodyte zone, for which I apologise.
And I am still under 25, will be for a whole year and then a little. You got a problem with that?

And how dare you say Bagpuss isn't important in the grand scheme of things? (Still reeling here).

Hmm; the ultimate evolutionary destination of the human race is a big-ass, slow-moving newt whose courtship rituals involve slugging a woman on the back of the head and dragging her through trans-warp. I say we just take off, nuke the planet from orbit right now.

That Bruce Sprinsteen concert; that would be more Born to Stroll then?

The t-shirt (which is now pretty much dead from over wearing and washing) is an Alchemy design, showing a phoenix and a black rose. It's a rebirth image thing I believe; I just thought it looked cool and they were selling them cheap at the FT Uncon in '98.

I don't actually own any Led Zep, or Pearl Jam, or for that matter any actual LPs or even a turntable. I kind of missed out on the whole vinyl thing.
As for the Ken Dodd crack, I think we're now getting dangerously close to having to take this whole conversation outside. Do you think we could get h2g2 to set up an area for a kind of Celebrity Deathmatch thing, where researchers can go to (virtually) duke it out?
Only virtually though, as I'd most likely get badly broken in any actual fighting that happened to take place.

The Prophet

I have no problem with your age!! Wish I was still the right side of 25 ... although come to think of it.... I am the *right* side of 25!!!!

And I give in. Bagpuss is probably one of the most important things in the grand scheme. (btw: my mum, who was looking after my kids whilst I went on a jolly to Korea, bought me a Tiny Clanger as a travelling companion. Typically, all the Korean girls - I had her hanging out of my bag, so she could see the sights - wanted one.)

>That Bruce Sprinsteen concert.....
Actually, it was in 1976 or 7 or 8 (can't remember) when I was a teenager (before you start!) and you were in nappies. And he could still rock! Now he's confined to a zimmer frame we have to relive those days via vinyl (remember that? Nope, of course not )

I finally (gods be praised) saw a bit of Farscape - the first episode aired on German TV a few weeks ago, but I was doing something else at the time. Now I have a big problem because tonight it's on again, but also the Stargate film (which I have never seen) and have to record for my old man. Life, eh? I can't take all this decision making!

So can you imagine Stargate SG-1 arriving on the Clanger planet? Daniel Jackson would take off and replace his glasses 5 times and then head off to investigate the Soup Dragon. Major Carter would point her weapon at the metal chicken and give it a hard stare. Teal'c would dance up and down with Tiny Clanger and the froglets. O'Neill, he'd - obviously - get on well with Major Clanger and they could discuss how it's not like the old days over a bowl of bluestringpudding. Because, of course, in common with the rest of the universe, the Clangers would miraculously be able to speak English. (Do you think that maybe SG-1 have a ?)

Bagpuss is important. He's a dream, a flight of fancy, and without imagination we are all just machines (cynical? me?)

I remember vinyl; I know about vinyl; I just don't _have_ vinyl. This is mostly because I couldn't afford a decent turntable; these days vinyl is only for the wealthy who can afford a hi-fi setup like my dad's.

The Stargate film is pretty good, but loses a lot on transition to the small screen. Actually, I saw it twice at the cinema, so I'm in a position to say that it loses a lot of some bitching whiner gets them to turn the volume on the Dobly (sic) down because they personally happen to find it physically painful. Wimps.

And SG-1 on the Clangers' planet (the moon) is a great idea. They'd have to have been taken over by the Goa'uld of course, and be exporting blue-string soup, and SG-1 would try to get them to rise up and resist, but the Clangers would show them the power of non-violent resistance (ala the Nox), and it would turn out that they have lots of string soup to spare and they dance and sing with the Jafar overseers when the Goa'uld aren't around.

And Small Clanger would develop a huge crush on Jackson, and he'd have to resist her because she's too young and he's a decent man and it wouldn't be right to take advantage of her, and besides he's in one of those periods where he's still grief stricken over Shaori's death. And yes, Tiny Clanger would follow Teal'c around the whole time and teach him to smile - at least for the rest of the episode.

Then Brass Clanger and Copper Clanger could hit on Major Carter in that asexual way that guys in SG-1 seem to hit on Major Carter, and they could show her the metal trees and stuff, and she could comment on how weird it all was in that sexy-clinical way of hers. And O'Nell could jury-rig the horn-creature to his walkman and introduce the Clangers to Earth music, and Major Clanger and the chilled-out dancing Jafar guards could get down to the Rolling Stones.

But they wouldn't speak English, that would just be wrong. Jackson would have to translate from their language, which would turn out to be a form of pre-Dynastic whistling, dating to the reign of King Scorpion.

Either that or they'd have to bring in Oliver Postgate and the rest of PG-1 to translate

The Prophet

Vinyl is not only for the wealthy (although we have a turntable - a very good one - left over from our Dinky days) it is for those without kids under 5. Mine think that those black plastic round things are either for throwing (aka Frisbees) or for having dollies tea-parties from.

Having finally seen it, I think the SG film was ok. But I spent a lot of time trying to get over Kurt Russel's haircut. I'm beginning to suspect that going through a Stargate has a bad effect on hair (O'Neill in the film, O'Neill in the series has gone grey in about 20 episodes, Teal'c got that thing on his chin - although it's gone now, Jackson in the series: he is having a series of bad hair years). The only one unaffected is Major Carter. So maybe it only affects men.

Did you see Dr. Who this weekend, my kids nearly wet themselves laughing at those aliens. The elder offspring (nearly 4) said: Mummy, can we watch Star Trek now, the baddies are better. Says it all, really.

There must surely be cheaper ways to buy frisbees. Anyway, Im sure CDs fly better, but they might well be more dangerous.

A lot of people have tried to fathom Kurt Russell's hair. As yet it remains even more mysterious than the riddle of the pyramids. As for Major Carter, I take it you haven't seen the episode where Sam Carter and Kowalski come through the mirror doohickey from an alternate universe. She's got some pretty bad hair in that one.

I don't alas have cable, so I can't watch Dr Who.
Bummer.

The Prophet

Have'nt seen Maj Carter with bad hair - I'm a recent convert.

Dr. Who was a classic, if only because they appear to have mixed-up the props/wardrobe from Blake's 7 with those of Dr. Who. brilliant

Dr Who monsters were always great. Have you seen the Zygons? They were a classic.

And the number of flaws the Daleks had that they were able to pretty much get around by luck. If anyone had ever fled off the street in a part of town where the little ramps from the pavement didn't slope quite all the way down they'd have been lost. Not to mention the stairs and the carpets, and the fact that they couldn't really operate switches, door handles or anything else much with those plungers.

Planet of the Daleks had a wonderful scene where the Daleks were following the map to the Thals' explosives dump or somesuch, and the lead Dalek was holding it on his plunger facing outwards. Plus the supreme Dalek in the same episode plainly had a broken head, so that it juddered really badly everytime the operator turned the stick to make it rotate.

Waterstones now stock Bagpuss and Clangers greetings cards. Booga-booga.

Carter from the alternate universe had long, straight hair (which looked like what it was - a not terribly good wig). Maybe it was something to do with her being married to O'Neill; his bad-hair syndrome had somehow transferred.

The Prophet

For a "young pup" you're way way to informed about Darleks!! I'm getting, apparently, a Darlek cake for my birthday - my old man read this thread (and he can't do a clanger, since he's not really sure what they look like)
And now he just says i'm a sad geek! (and this from a bloke who subsequently admitted to watching Space 1999 in German)
Pah!
Long live Bagpuss (have you written a Guide Entry about Bagpuss yet?)
Sho
x

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Sorry, I knew that about Daleks. Just typing to fast for my own good - the fingers are just a blur.

Oh yes, I saw that when I was looking for Noggin the Nog (which I found, the Dragons Friendly Society were kind enough to sell me videos and a book)

Anyway, off to complain: my Tiny Clanger has black feet..... grrr!

Maybe she's an expatriat French-Algerian?

The Prophet.

Well, she certainly seems to speak French & Arabic (so she will definately fall for Dr. Jackson)

And I tried pointing my dear beloved husband at the web once, but he just got a blank expression and asked where the remote control was and when was footie coming on.........
Sho
x

I personally suspect that the Clangers are capable of understanding all languages, if not necessarily speaking them. The dialogue in the programme is probably unintentionally obscene in some obscure dialect of Estonian as well.

The Prophet

Terry Nation apparently came up with the name from an encyclopaedia volume spanning Dal-Eks.

Neat.

The Prophet

Just goes to show! Inspiration is all around.

As for the clangers, if you look at the website (address escapes me for the moment) there is a bit about them (Major Clanger, I think) swearing, and some of it having to be cut out. Also they tell of when they showed it to the Germans, and they understood everything perfectly. Clanger is the way to go, language wise, not Esperanto or Latin!

Whoo-whee-woo-whoo-who-wee.
Whoo-woo, who-wee-woo-who?

I don't see it myself.

The Prophet

That's because your head isn't spinning round while you whoo-wee.
Then you'd get it.

The Exorcist VII: The Clangers.

"My God! Tiny Clanger is whistling in Aramaic and spitting Blue String Soup everywhere! Quick! Get Ming the Merciless!"

The Prophet.

Tiny Clanger as Gladiator - making friends with the tigers....