A Conversation for William McGonagall - Poet
Sick Bob. (Most recent incarnation of the Dark Lord Cyclops. Still lord and master of the Anti Squirrel League and Keeper of c Started conversation Jun 25, 2001
I agree that William McGonnigal is probably the worst poet in the world who truly beleived he was good.
However their is another famous terrible scottish poet. Walter McCorrisken happily admits that he is the worst living poet in the world 9or at least Scotland.) Here is an example of his great work:
Never bite your fingernails,
It makes your fingers lumpy,
Never bit your fingernails,
"It is not written in the stars,
Nor written on the moon
It's written on the sideboard
And we'll have tae dust it doon."
A stroke of genius. Or maybe just stroke inducing...
Felonious Monk - h2g2s very own Bogeyman Posted Jun 26, 2001
That is truly bad. Until now, my favourite bad poem was in fact a McGonagall, called 'The Coo':
'On yonder hill there stands a coo;
If it's a no there, it's awa' noo.'
Researcher 170889 Posted Jul 19, 2001
Both these examples have a touch of wit in them. I do not think one can be deliberately bad without being somewhat humorous and humor immediately disqualifies one from reaching McGonigal's heights of awfulness.
Diamond Bert Posted Nov 8, 2001
I agree. McGonigal (I think) was trying to be serious. McCorrisken is definitely out to amuse. My favourite McCorrisken poem is his epitaph on a pet dog.
Here lies Spot,
His only fault - he peed a lot.
A quiet dog, he was seldom seen,
But you always knew where he had been.
If memory serves me correctly, I think he was appointed as a Visiting Reader at Strathclyde University. Or am I wrong?
ynottrah Posted May 6, 2008
I first saw Walter in The Admiral Pub, Bothwell St, Glasgow 1974.
The 'Scottish Worst Poet' competition was some years away, this night,
and others, he was simply doing one-night stands at various venues, culturising his talent.
Some of his best..
Twa big eyes,
In the dark gleamin,
They belonged to a wummin,
Who's man wis steamin...
A three legged dug
Rode intae Broomielaw
When asked 'Ir yi lookin fir yir faither?'
Ave cum fir ma paw
At the end of the evening, I purchased a gestetner copy of his
works (25p), which he made himself, and which I still cherish. He even signed it. It could be worth a fortune..
Unfortunately, in 1982, some lovelorn chick, looking for a spare piece of paper, wrote the words of Captain and Tenille, 'Do that to me one more time!' on the back cover. Not only did she ruin the masterpiece, but she wasn't even ma burd!! Twa big eyes....change the words..!!!
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