A Conversation for Bullying
Researcher 214892 Started conversation Jan 10, 2003
This is a great article, I was heavily bullied during my time at primary school it was always verbal/psychological I'm in my first year of university now and I believe that it still effects me. They found that because I was sensitive they could make me cry very easily. I had no particular distinguishing features, I was average height perhaps taller - to me there seemed to be no apparent reason for the bullying, this made self-concious because I could only attribute the taunts to being somehow different from everyone else, an 'outsider'. I recently revisited bullying settling into my halls of residence, after a few weeks an 'alpha-male' quickly took hold and as usual I was picked out - this time though I had the un-macho distinguishing feature of being vegetarian. I do believe that verbal/psychological bullying is definately a two-way process, if you don't believe the bully they can't really hurt you - but when you're unsure of yourself putting that into practice is very difficult.
Bullying of very young children is often underestimated by teachers, it always occurs out of sight so they tend to be sceptical - keeping quiet is the most dangerous thing, its best to talk to friends/parents about it because you're more likely to get unconditional support.
Also bullies are often manipulative changing their behaviour from friendly to aggressive very quickly, just like 'good cop' 'bad cop' style interrogations.
Hope you can keep updating this article with all the good ideas from people's feedback this is a really worthwhile resource, thanks.
Martin Harper Posted Jan 13, 2003
magoogy Posted Mar 31, 2003
ive always encouraged my kids to be friendly and get on wiv ev1, but also to defend themselves always! never let ne1 put u down as no1 is better, and u r no better than ne1!!! so far, ive had no major problems [theyre 14]. we always discuss evthing and feel theyd tell me if there was owt, but i do still watch out!!
Flaming-Penguins Posted Sep 3, 2005
True. Here's another cause of bullying: Association. On my first day of grade 7 at a new school, a kid came up to me and asked if I thought he was a geek. I looked at him bewilderedly and said hesitantly, "Ummm... No?" He lit up and said, "Awesome, you'r in." I ended up meeting his friend, and that was it. (And, by the way, has been it for over 3 years. Not to say I don't have friends outside of school.) Basically, not to mention obviously, I was bullied by the entire school for the 3 years I was there. The school went from kindergarten to grade 9, by the way. I found even first graders insulting everything I did, and swearing at me. Yeah. First graders were swearing at me, a grade 7, 8, or 9er. Your choise. Anyway, my general point is that I was only bullied (At the beginning, anyway. Later on I annoyed them back, not to say they didn't still use stupid reasons anyway.) because I made friends with that kid on the first day. Otherwise, I probably would've been fine. In fact, I can't think of a reason why it wouldn't have been if I hadn't met him. That was a confusing sentence. Might as well bypass it.
Anyway, funny story (on topic, of course.), One day, after gym, we were putting our equipment away, and this kid hits me with a mat thing. I was jolted forward and nearly fell over. Needless to say, everyone (but my friend) laughed. So I just kind of chuckled with it, put back the mat I had, and then quickly jolted around and body-checked the kid. I must say, I'm not that strong, but he never saw it coming. He stumbled back into a chair rack (This all occured, by the way, in a storage room.), causing a pile of chairs to be "deposited" around his feet. I laughed inside, to be honest, but I made it look like I had meant to do push him into the chairs. My friend (yeah, same one) laughed too. But the thing we just can't figure out is the reason why everyone else laughed... at me. I'm grinning just remembering. I just gave them all a strange look, and left, still grinning.
Anyway, that's enough typing for one... quite a while, so I leave once again complimenting on your work.
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