Evil Army Armory - Gadgets
Created | Updated Oct 19, 2005
GADGET INVENTORY
Various gadgets of the Evil Army. For the most part they aren't too useful in day to day invading. See the number analyzers to see what I mean.
Anti-Assimilation Core
I have lately noticed a lot of 'This Page Has Been Asimilated' messages
and, although not sure of Borg diplomacy, felt the urge to develope a
defense against it. This device also comes in a portable size.
Discription: A large spherical metalic object with cow spots
painted on it.
Instilation Process: Just weld the thing to the floor and you're
good to go.
Portable Anti-Assimilation Core
Discription: Just a downsized version of the full-sized one
Intilation Process: Just peel of the paper and stick it in the
desired place
One-Size-Fits-All Pockets
Discription: They look just like normal pockets and are made to
store just about anything that the hole will alow to fit. Think Mary Poppins
Style Pockets...you can fit a lamp in there is needs be. The rim of the
pocket hole is made of elastic material and there fore can be streatched
more than a normal hole allowing for more bulkier objects...like rocket
launchers and larges floor lamps to fit into the hole. Note:The only thing
holding back on the size of the object you put into your one-size-fits-all
pocket is the diameter of the pocket opening and weight.
Instilation Prossess: Just rip out old pocket material and instal
new just as if it were another normal pocket.
Usage: Just put in your desired pocket stuffing and your good to
go...just don't put a lot of heavy objects in there...it doesn't eliminate
the weight of the item.
P.I.N.A.T.A.
Stands for:Purple Intrinsic Number Analyzer That Analyzes
Discription: A machine that analyzes numbers. A purple machine that analyzes numbers. It doesn't really have any use.
C.A.N.D.I.E.
Stands for:Cruddy Analyzer Now Destroyed In Ernest
Discription: The broken version of the P.I.N.A.T.A. Believe it or not it actually has less use then the P.I.N.A.T.A.
F.U.N.G.U.S.
Stands for:Foam that Uses Nasty Grit Under Sinks
Discription: Substance discovered when the shield on the IGMPD absorbed a foam mortar. The substance immediatly cleaned the bathrooms in the patty1
Uses: Just deploy in a bathroom for a cleaning that can't be believed. Buy now!
P.L.U.M.B.E.N.A.T.O.R.
Stands for:Press Large Ultra Maroon Button to Ensure the Nasty Amalgamation of Toilets to Overflow Readily.
Discription: More of a practical joke then an actual weapon of war, this gadget causes the simulatneous flushing of every toilet in the building where its pressed. Invented of course by Supermoo in his lifelong efforts to get the MotMV pissed at us.
Uses: Press the button. Duh. I mean: its a single button. Its not hard to use.
G.I.S.M.O.S.A.S.
Stands for:Great Invention 'Scapes from Menacing Occurances using Spring Attached to a Stick.
Discription:...it looks like a pogo stick... Thats all I know about it.
Usage: Ask the cow. I have no idea.
F.L.A.M.I.N.G.O.
Stands for:Flailing Lie Annoying Men(aces) into Ignoring New Genuine Offense
Description: A bright yellow motorized bounceball that emits high pitched taunting of “Haha! You’re all looooooooosers! Neenerneenerneener…! [etc.]” Has a big smiley face on it. Distracts enemies into angrily shooting at it instead of the real attackers that can sneak in close. May be programmed (via USB) to bounce in a specific pattern and go to a specific place. Most effective in large numbers.
Usage: Throw it toward the enemy.
Invented by:Malcolm