With a population of just under 15,000, Largs, Ayrshire, Scotland is no metropolis. It does, however, have a flourishing community of elderly and retired people; so it may be considered a useful place to visit when one has the need to feel youthful and vivacious. A trip to Largs requires an extensive knowledge of local bus routes and comfortable shoes.

Famous throughout the west coast of Scotland for its Nardini's¹ café, the town sits right on the coast, backed by a series of hills. Glasgow lies about 25 miles to the north west and Ayr about 10 to the south; so one has the option of flitting to civilization without too much trouble. The town is also a useful starting place for visiting the nearby islands of Cumbrae, where a Country and Western music festival² is held every summer, and Arran³.

An enjoyable afternoon can be spent in Largs, if one's time is divided sensibly between eating Italian ice-cream, drinking coffee, playing golf, sailing and getting drunk; although it should be noted that a number of the local inhabitants gravitate towards the latter option with disturbing regularity.

Local produce consists mainly of twee Scottish sayings and heavy rain.