h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Surely this account, though technically detailed, fails to address so called '12 month insanity syndrome'. As a former call centre doctor I saw many of my patients fall to this sad disease.
Watch carefully for these symptoms:
office chair back - hunched shoulders and crooked spine accompanied by a constant desire to lean both elbows on a desk
headset's disease - deafness in one ear accompanied by a permanent ridge across the top of the head
screentan - red/brown marks (depending on sking type) seeming to streak backwards from the front of the face
telephobia - the fear of small plastic ringing things
frequent wearing of fancy dress and other miscellaneous lunacy

It would be fair to say that in comparison to 12 months insanity syndrome sufferers battery hens know nothing about the oppression of cramped conditions and Channel 4 racing commentators know nothing about the strains of non-stop talking. This disease can be psychologically fatal. Fortunately many potential sufferers find that their tongues gave in before they reach the end of the crucial year and are consequently sacked for not being able to talk. At this point three to four years counselling can really pay off - with sustained effort the patient may eventually be able to answer a domestic phone without help and with only mild panic and nausea.

Oh yes the agony of sitting still for 12 hours . I do dread it when the phone goes at home. I can't stand sitting in front of a computer for a good couple of hours after I get home either.