Inspiration flooded into my mind. I was happy because it did not hurt. After watching repeats of a television series, I'd found the answer: I'd become my own identical brother!

Blah! Blah! Etc! Free to roam again, saves writing.

From my previous investigations, it came to light, but that's weird. We don't have gas-mantle street lights anymore, so why would it want to light them? Plus it used to be a man that did it.

One person had been unaccounted for, the cook! I at once headed for the mansion (I took my other eye with me as well). There I questioned the cook, and got some recipes as well... It was clear — I knew she was skimping on the ingredients of the soup. She knew more than she was letting on. So the plot thickened, which is more than I can say for the soup!

His lordship's game was being poached by the village butcher, who is the lover of the cook. Now, why anyone would want to poach a Monopoly board is anyone's guess.

HA! You were thinking Cluedo! But there's no Colonel Mustard in this investigation (goes through notes just to be on the safe side).

Now his lordship had found this out and had to be silenced, but another poser popped its head up. His lordship was dead, so how would they go about in silencing him?

.... Here is a long pause while I’m thinking....

My mind stayed a blank, so I was normal then. I felt at ease — even though I have never been in the armed forces, I have been forced by the arm though many times.

I needed more information from the forensics department: stabbed 20 times. They found this easy to count because there were knives, forks, spatulas, skewers and other assorted kitchenware still stuck in him.

Shot 11 times. Wounds show evidence of an elephant gun. Shells, cartridges and tyre marks consistent with an off-road vehicle.

SO! Nothing there that helps me. Apart from the fact that I now know him to be fully dead, and I don't think I'll be able to question him at any time now. Such a pity! He could have been a great help in this investigation.

Now I am not one to ignore relations, but my identical brother has totally ignored me and not spoke to me once in this episode! Another thing puzzled me: how did her ladyship know the phone number of the weird hotel I've been staying at? Because the mansion is surrounded by men in white coats.

I had tried to tell her I was my identical brother, but she kept running away. Maybe she was scared of strangers, not having met him before. Then again, neither had I (still got my other eye).

But now I'd got chance to get to know me, as I am now in the back of a van with four large men sat on me again.

There must be a virus going round because I'm having another inject………zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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