h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Kallisti to all of you !

I, The Left Ear of the gODDess, Keeper of the Sacred Chao, just decieded to found A NEW DISCORDIAN SECT.
It shell be based on discordian h2g2-researchers and every body else who likes to think of him- or herself as a part of it.

Aehhh... well...

To be honest, that's all I know about it at the moment. If you got some funky ideas about it, tell me... for example, I haven't yet had a good idea how to call the cabal.


The Left Ear of the gODDess, Or At Least He Claims To Be

Perhaps you are worthy to join the Secret Masters of H2G2 then... if you can find us.. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

The Secret Master ? Huh ?

*Looking around in all directions in a paranoid way*

What do you mean ? There are other secret masters than me ?

Uh-oh-- I just got this strange sign on my monitor.
I think it----
-
---
--
-
---
-
bing !

There are no secrest masters. Fnord.
I repeat: There are no secret masters. Fnord.

Well Im the Polyfather of the Online game Asherons' Call, The Wholly church has made a presence there.
We're always looking for a few more crazy b******s. Feel free to look me up on the World of Thistledown

Malichor

And low and behold
Eris shall have a strangle hold in
all places.

--><--

To disordia
and may we
discordians
inherit the
earth

Jk

Typos are tiny blessings from goddess, so you are indeed blessed

yes if given a chance we MUST get a theological strnglehold on people, because those damned greyfaces are breeders, breeding thier ignorance into new generations of young discordian-wannabes



Hail eris

Estimate no. of Discordians?
I belive the number will revole
around a strange atractour.

There is only one known Discordian. And as he appears to be living in a fish at the moment, it's much more likely that he's just a surrealist playing at being a Discordian.

Anyone you meet who says that s/he is a Discordian is either on the run from some law enforcement agency, a fundamentalist minister who's having one over on you, a wolf in cheap clothing, a liar, a symptom of your neurosis (or drugs - naughty you), or a combination of two of those things - and I'm not telling which two.

That being said, you can obtain a list of all persons claiming to be a Discordian, but you'll have to pay a rediculous amount of money _and_ wait till the end of the Kali Yuga, which unfortunately still has 426,898 years left to go. All things being equal, it's much easier just to assume that everyone you meet is in fact a SubGenius, and poke them with a stick before running away. (Remember never to taunt a SubGenius about the horrible failure of X Day, they hate that.)

So, to sum up, there are _no_ Discordians, and everyone else is a SubGenius - who, by the way, are really asian monks who have discovered the Real Meaning of Life, and just don't want to let anyone else in the secret.

(The above, if printed out, dried and smoked, will produce effects in your mind not unlike taking datura uncooked while pining away the time in the upper colon of a herpetic elephant. You have been warned.)


Rev. David 'id' Bills, MT, KSC, HM/SH
(And a whole bunch of (other) stolen initials.)
Built Ford Tough

not :

BUILT FNORD TOUGH

The fish in the sea swims west when west
would swiming is favarable this true of
Discordians who are and are not discodians
dependent on the current.

The fish in the sea swims west when west
would swiming is favarable this true of
Discordians who are and are not discodians
dependent on the current.

I didn't read it. Honestly. And if i did i wouldn't tell you.

*eating a hot dog without the bun* Fnord! *watches fish fly through the air and herds of black pianos frolic in the fields*

*waving arms in air*

"GOBLEGOBLEGOBLEGOBLEGOBLE!"

stupid greyfaces.

That last was for reverand id, who is a greyface.
Trillian, hot dogs are against discordianism, exept on fridays. (and how can you eat those nasty things anyway?)

?

Two g's in gobble, unless you're attempting to be non-conformist, which is somewhat contrary to your stance on weiner orthodoxy, though contrariness does tend to foster chaos in the greater order.

If there are in fact two 'g's in gobble, how come you still spell it 'gobble' just like I do? Are you in fact a Sub-Genius? Did I make all of this up? Oh Why, Oh Why!!?

I really have no stance on weiner orthodoxy, just can't stand the nasty things. One thing I'd like to know, however, is where did this facination with haiku come from? Back when I was converted to official Discordianism by finding an actual printed copy of the fourth edition of the 'Principia', but when I consulted my Pineal Gland, it was gone. The book, not my gland. I took that as a sign by Eris that I had found the answer to the ulitimate question. (How can I best f**k with people?)

My own path has been very similar, though i managed to boil down the question "how can i best f**k with people?" to a much purer form... "how can i best f**k people?".

But, why this strange facination with haiku? The structure for classical haiku is a little too, well, structured for any discordian.

Classical haiku ain't structure so much, bubs. You're thinking of western-style-cheap-occidental-imitation haiku. Original haiku were a lot easier in Japanese cos of all der words being one or sometimes two syllables. They actually didn't start out as haiku; they started out as renga, which originated in 15th century Japan. Renga is a poem several poets create cooperatively. Members alternately add verses of 17 syllables (5, 7, and 5 syllables) and those of 14 syllables (7 and 7 syllables), until they complete a poem generally composed of 100 verses. The poet who made the leading 575 verse would often like it so much that he would remove it from the context and put it about on its own. However, besides all of this, non-structured haiku are not only allowed, but positively loved to smithereens by all the relevant Experts.
Well, you *did* ask. But I suspect that the reason is actually because the founding six Discordians enjoy their Zen or Taoist connotations, along with their usual worshipful view of nature. Plus many of them are bloody good. Them's one example of the message of She Wot Dun It All being put about by an unwitting Aneris.
Besides the two g's in gobble, there's also two f's; however, the uninitiated cannot see these, cos they're hidden in the "FNORD"s that give the word its negative connotations.
Betcha weren't expecting such a procrastinatory POEEer, which is why I procrastinated.