h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Very nice.
But you forgot to mention the door to my heart.

Awwwwwwwwww

I think you may have just made my day. That's so sweet.

what about things like "holding the door open etiquette" where everyone makes a slow progress to the door that you only held open for the woman with the pushchair, and you are left there like a lemming

revolving doors - you forgot to mention that you also have to pray that the hole you get shot out of was the right one - otherwise you'll have to try again!

doors with no little window in them in wierd places where people stand - they end up getting hit

push/pull doors - don't forget to mention that push doors often have pull handles on them and I have come across one pull door with one of those flat metal plates for pushing on

While we're on 'holding doors open etiquette' don't forget the door at the top of a flight of stairs. Some helpful bloke is sure to hold it open for the woman at the bottom - who then feels she has rush up the stairs so he's not left standing there for the ages it would take her to climb up at a comfortable rate. (I'm not knocking courtesy in general, just making an observation)

I always have the problem with seats on trains and buses

I am young and female
I was brought up to give more elderly people (or the pregnant/with children) my seat
this is fine except for elderly gentlemen, who beleive in giving up their seats for a lady.
quandry time

back to doors

from where I come it is polite to let people off the train first
this does not happen on a tube in London
it took me months to learn to barge and shoulder my way in rush hour
now I get odd looks when I go back home

one can never win!

Even sillier, I have come across an automatic exit door from a supermarket bearing a sign reading "please enter by the other door". "Now why on earth should I want to go back in again, especially as I haven't even gone out yet?" While you are puzzling over this, the automatic door gets the advantage over you and takes you by surprise by letting you out when you are not ready.