h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Having a bunch of this person's friends get in on making a video. You know. Pretty tacky, huh? Well, this is where you put the video camera in "hidden" spots in, oh, say an office. Now, you've already told everybody to talk about your friend, and make fun of him, etc. I'm sure there you have many friends that would be good at this, picking up on certain features, like, oh, a gargantuan nose? Anyways, after you get all your film, piece it together, well, all the funny bits, and I'm sure you have a great video that was both fun to make and will be fun to watch.
Or, you could just organise a roast and be off with it.

Oh, what am I saying? You know what you should do? Buy the gift that you were going to give him anyways, BUT give it to a complete stranger, like, oh, ME? Then you take a photo of how happy this person was to receive the present. Then, you go to your card store, heck, go to Harrod's and buy a really fancy smanchy card, and you throw the photo in, noting that you donated their gift to someone that would appreciate it, sign it with lots of love and XXX and OOOs, and plop it right in front of them, saying Merry Christmas.

How about, while the person who has everything is sleeping in his/ her/ it's office you sneak in and take a plaster cast of the aforementioned certain feature (remember, Sporkulious' "gargantuan nose" suggestion?). Then you could get a bronze statue made in the shape of the nose or whatever, get a nice little inscription on the bottom, and present it to your friend who is still picking bits of plaster out of his or her nose?

Plus, if you were really clever, you could make it into a door knocker

That would be clever! My mother has just about everything, but she does not have a gargantuan noes that I could bronze... Maybe I should get her a bigger nose for Christmas?

~Irving

It should be noted that a nose was just one suggestion... what about gargantuan ears, alike the BFG or Ross Perot?

Now bronze ears would be impressive! I'm afraid, though, that my mother's only outstanding physicall abnormality is her short stature, and if I tried to make a plaster mould of her entire body I think she'd wake up

~Irving

Hmm... not if you gave her some Prince Valium

I am NOT going to drug my mother!

I'm sure she appreciates that! How about bronzing a pet? could be done quickly and she'd never notice, as long as you shampoo it well afterwards.

Now that is the best idea I've heard yet!

How about having the person x-rayed and then getting their internal structure printed on a T-shirt?

eh

Not keen on that idea then?

I think that it's a great idea. The only problem that may arise is if the pet is very small, in which case it may drown in the plaster.

Granney Stirolah has an elephant that roams around in her backyard, its name is deeke

Am I the only one confused by this?

I know, get them a clone made. Just get a snippet of hair or other DNA containing tidbit. It would be a lot easier than getting a plastercast, and if the clone turns out to be evil. You could always bronze it.

nd I thought I was odd!! How about being sensible (well it sounds good) Give your mother a good old (Large) bottle of gin! You know how it makes women cry and be miserable (they love it) GO FOR IT

I know that it's off topic, but I like the name.