A Conversation for Witty Quotes

Witty Quotes

Post 1

Rewritable CDR

Another one from Winston Churchill that I heard happened when he asked a lady at a party if she would sleep with him for a million pounds.
"Of course I would", she replied.
"Then would you sleep with me for ten pounds?" asked Churchill.
"Do you think I'm some sort of prostitute?" asked the outraged lady.
"We've already established that", replied Churchill, "Now we're just haggling over the price"


Witty Quotes

Post 2

compo

Woody Allen:It's not that I'm afraid of dying.Ijust don't want to be there when it happens.

W.C.Fields:I am free of all predjudice.I hate everybody.


Witty Quotes

Post 3

Ugi - Keeper of typos & spelling errers - MAT (see A575912)

Long a similar line, do you know who originated:

"I intend to live forever, or die in the attempt"

I only know it from "Villa" in Blake's 7 & I find it hard to believe that it's original to him!

Ugi


Witty Quotes

Post 4

Researcher 225795

I beleive it is from the book Catch 22. by Joseph Heller. please correct me if i'm wrong.


Witty Quotes

Post 5

Pandapig

It is indeed from Catch-22.

Woody Allen also said "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying."


Witty Quotes

Post 6

shagbark

I heard once that a robber waved a gun in the face of a famous American football coach and he replied:
"what do you think you are doing-threatning me with heaven?"


Witty Quotes

Post 7

Etheriel

You can't be truly rude until you understand good manners.
- Rita Mae Brown
'Tis better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than open one's mouth and remove all doubt.
- Samuel Johnson
Speak the truth, but leave immediately after.
- Slovenian proverb
Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.
- Woody Allen
I disapprove of what you say, but will defend to the death your right to say it.
- Voltaire
"Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog."
- Mark Twain (1835-1910)

the catch 22 quote definately has to be in there too, pure genius.


Witty Quotes

Post 8

Beebles

it is from Catch 22. the exact quote is: "He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt, and his only mission each time he went up was to come down alive."


Witty Quotes

Post 9

abbi normal "Putting on the Ritz" with Dr Frankenstein

I like the woody allen one from Annie Hall I believe. This is paraphrased the exact quote would be appreciated.

woody says:
"My brother thinks he's a chicken, he's quite irritating to be around. I am headed over to visit him now."

The Listener* Oh really ,why do you even what to talk to him if he is that out of touch?

Woody: "Dunno , I guess I need the eggs"
smiley - disco


Witty Quotes

Post 10

Dirtyjeans

G.B.Shaw was walking on a very narrow path and came face-to-face with a guy who disliked him.That guy stood straight,puffed his chest up and said,"I dont make way for fools".
Shaw,politely,"I do" and stood aside

Some Oscar Wilde classics from his "A Picture of Dorian Gray".
1.The only thing worse than being talked about is...not being talked about.
2.A man who calls a spade a spade should be given one,for he is fit for nothing else.
3.This is a personal favorite----"Women,my dear Dorian,can never be geniuses.Women generally have nothing to say and they say that very charmingly.They represent the triumph of matter over mind,just as men represent the triumph of mind over morals."


Witty Quotes

Post 11

Ian the GM

Sorry, not Churchill, GBS smiley - wah


Witty Quotes

Post 12

godisaheathen

Similar to the Catch-22 quote;

'I'd like to live forever, but only for a little while.'

from SFW


Witty Quotes

Post 13

compo

In a similar vein:

"I'm going to live forever - or die in the attempt." Avon in Blake's Seven.


Witty Quotes

Post 14

jarodhk

http://www.similaritiesanddifferences.info/winston-churchill-quotes/


Witty Quotes

Post 15

jarodhk

http://www.similaritiesanddifferences.info/woody-allen-quotes/


Key: Complain about this post

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more