h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Right - I'll let you decide if you want to do Planet, Schmanet, Janet or just move onto the floorshow...

PS. This was written at 2:30am local time - everything works, have a worry free party.

Floorshow please....my only copy is on very worn out vinyl..so worn it's got holes in it ! It's midday in NZ and things are all dandy here.

Oh no way ... Plant Schamnet Janet is a great song . . .

I'll tell you once .. I wont tell you twice
You'd better wise up .. Janet Weis! (Sl{}t!)
You're apple pie - dont taste too nice
You'd better wise up .. Janet Weis! (Sl[]t!)

I played to see you -- it should be all you need!
You're as sensual as a pencil!
Wound-up like a Neon-Burst String
When we made it -- did'ya hear a bell ring!
(everyone rings bells .. its so sweet)

Errrm, how about we try this:

I've laid the seed
It should be all you need
You're as sensual as a pencil
Woulnd up like an E or first string
When we made it, did you hear a bell ring?

You've got a block, well take my advice
You better wise up Janet Weiss
The transcducer will seduce ya

Okay, I'm making an executive decision - onto the floorshow!!!!

FLOORSHOW

It was great when it all began
I was a regular Frankie fan
But it was over when he had the plan
To start a-working on a muscle ma-an
Now the only thing that gives me hope
Is my love of a certain dope
Rose tints my world
Keeps me safe from my trouble and pain

I'm just seven hours old (And can't dance!)
Truly beautiful to behold (Modest, too)
And I think somebody should be told (I can't sing!)
My libido hasn't been controlled
Now the only thing I've come to trust
Is an orgasmic rush of lust
Rose tints my world and keeps me safe from the trouble and pain...

It's beyond me
Help me Mommy
I'll be good you'll see
Take this dream awayayayayayay
What's this? Let's see
Mmmmm, I feel sexy
What's come over me?
Whooo!! Here it comes again!!

(janet how do you feel?)i feel (real cheap) released
bad times deceased
my confidence has increased
reality is heeeeeeere
the game has been disbanded
my mind has been expanded
it's a gas that frankies landed
his lust is so sincere
(kiss the air eveyone)

Insert fanfare here.

DON'T DREAM IT

Whatever happened to Fay Wray?
That delicate satin draped frame?
As it clung to her thigh
How I started to cry
Cos I wanted to be dressed just the same

Ummm...does anybody know how it goes from here?

{Why yes, yes I do}

Give yourself over to absolute pleasure
Swim the warm waters of the sins of the flesh
Erotic nigthmares beyond any measure
And sensual daydreams that last forever

Can't you just feel(see?) it
Wohowoooooooow

Don't dream it
Be it
Don't dream it
Be it
Don't dream it
Be it
Don't dream it
Be it
Don't dream it
Be it

{Words to live by}

Dr Scott: Ive got to get (insert rude line here) out of this trap!
Before this life -- saps our vills.
Ive got to be strong
And try to hang on.
Or else -- my mind may well SNAP!!!
And my life -
Vill be lived -
FOR THE THRI-I-I-I-I-ILs!

It's beyond me
Help me Mommy

God bless Lily St Cyr

My, my my my my my my my my--MY!

I'm a wild and an untamed thing
I'm a bee with a deadly sting
You get a hit and your mind goes *ping*
Your heart'll pump and your blood will sing
So let the party and the sounds rock on
We're gonna shake it till the life is gone
Rose tint my world and keep me safe from the trouble and pain....

how about the last bit guys???

Frank n furter
Its all over
Your mission is a failure
Your lifestyles too extreme

I'm your new commander
You now are my prisoner
We return to Transylvania

Prepare the transit beam.....

Then obviously we have the 'wait, I can explain...'

Dr. Frank-N-Furter

On the day I went away
Chorus

Goodbye
Dr. Frank-N-Furter

Was all I had to say
Chorus

Now I
Dr. Frank-N-Furter

I want to come again and stay
Chorus

Oh my
Dr. Frank-N-Furter

Smile, and that will mean I may
'Cause I've seen blue skies
Through the tears in my eyes
And I realize I'm going home
Chorus

I'm going home
Dr. Frank-N-Furter

Everywhere, it's been the same
Chorus

Feeling
Dr. Frank-N-Furter

Like I'm outside in the rain
Chorus

Wheeling
Dr. Frank-N-Furter

Free to try and find a game
Chorus

Dealing
Dr. Frank-N-Furter

Cards for sorrow
Cards for pain
'Cause I've seen blue skies
Through the tears in my eyes
And I realize I'm going home
Chorus

I'm going home
I'm going home
I'm going home

*Magenta*
How sentimental.

*Riff Raff*
And also presumptuous of you.
You see, when I said we were to return to Transylvania,
I referred only to Magenta and myself.
I'm sorry, however, if you found my words misleading, but you see, you are to remain here....



...in spirit, anyway.