h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

There isn't any to speak of. Why? Because Asians cannot process it.

Not so long ago, in evolutionary terms, the people of Europe and Africa developed a wonderful gene for a wonderful protein (enzyme, in this case) called alcohol dehydrogenase. This allowed them to digest beer and turn it into useful chemicals like sugars and fats. The evolutionary advantage, however, came from the fact that beer is toxic to many nasty bacteria. Effectively, beer was a way of sterilising water.

In what could be loosely described as Asia, the people had already developed an effective way of sterilising their water, which was to boil it. Rather more obvious, if you ask me, but less fun. This is why they eat a lot of soups and watery noodles.

What happens when someone without alcohol dehydrogenase drinks beer? Well, they have an allergic reaction, or toxic response, involving going red, and getting unbelievably drunk. All their body can do is try to excrete the poison as quickly as possible via the kidneys. Alcoholics may say they're the lucky ones, they can achieve the release of inebriation at the minimum of cost. Others might claim that they lose the chance to sit around in pubs talking bollocks for hours on end.

Asia has, of course, produced some great beers, notably Kingfisher, Tiger, and Tsing Tao. As far as I'm aware, they have mostly been produced for a western market.

Can the Japanese process alcohol? Possibly, since they seem to drink plenty of beer as well as having a strong fondness for saki. The alcohol dehydrogenase rule isn't universal, but it does explain why getting an Asian drunk can be very funny.

Joss