h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Why don't you go with Jove's Greek equivalent? Greece may be currently controlled by the Romans, but Zeus and his pals haven't moved out yet. 'Course I'm not gonna pay homage to any of 'em while I'm here.

*Affy looks outside, seeing the city's exit*

I think we could make it out of here pretty quickly. Assuming that no more chariots dart out of nowhere.

[YK] Good idea. Let's go.

*They discreetly head out of the hovel, and make their way to the city gates*

*They are most of the way through the gates when a guard suddenly takes notice of them and calls for them to halt.*

Guard: Hey! You're from the 9th legion? I thought they were stationed in Gaul.

*Mutters:*
Fiddlesticks.


Sorry guys, I'm gonna have to do this. I'll make sure no one notices, and that the effects wear off after a short while.


*The Professor makes sure no one is watching - which means no one is, incidentally - and makes his Watch visible for a moment. Pressing a couple of buttons, he directs a beam at the guard's head, before he can exclaim.*
*The guard stands as still as a rock, the beam entering his brain and fiddling with its consciousness a bit. After a short while, the beam dissipates, and the guard is reanimated.*

Quick, I've erased his sighting of us from his mind, and he won't notice us for a short while. We must hurry.

[YK] ...

Riiiiight...

[YK and all his other present characters (by which I mean Mackenzie) run past the guard]

There, that's better.


*The Professor takes one final look at the guard, makes his Watch invisible again, and heads through the gate...*

*They march out of the city, and when Affy makes sure that no one is watching, he pulls out his watch, and speaks into it*

Affy's log, time date: post 70. Have violated prime directive already. And not *that* one, I mean the one that makes this stuff work. Yeah, you know....

*Affy looks around, and motions towards a not-too distant hill*

We're going that way. To Camp Krylma, the most peaceful place on Earth. Probably won't even try to stop us if we get too far past their guards, the stupid pacifists....

[Mackenzie] Don't say that within earshot of 'em, though!

Hey Affy, are you sure they will let us in if they are pacifists? I mean we are dressed as soldiers ...

Ah, erm...if it comes to that, do you think they'd mind me wearing my normal clothes? I'm quite uncomfortable in /any/ old clothing.

The Krylma dress as every walk of life. As long as we act like we know what we're doing, it shouldn't be too hard to get in, get what we want, and get out. I'm going to have a Yomin spell ready, just in case we're asked for a password.

Thank God for that - I can't /stand/ doing action scenes out of my normal get-up.

*Makes sure no hostiles are looking anywhere near them, and snaps his fingers. His normal clothes immediately displace his soldier's uniform, and he flexes his limbs a bit.*

There, that's better.
Hopefully of course, we won't need to do any action scenes, but you never know...

*Sets Watch and all his other at-hand technology to full cloaking. That means no one will detect them, not even the Krylma. I have to set /some/ rules. *

[Mackenzie] I've got an SEP field around myself. There's probably VERY few female Roman soldiers.

Trust me, they wouldn't notice. While women still didn't have the kind of equality that they have in today's society, they were at least allowed to vote and to have their own decisions.

Really, the Krylma and the Atlantean races are the closest thing to Utopia that's ever been seen on Earth. But the forces of politics eventually ruined that for everybody.

*Affy is walking briskly, in the general direction of a forest*

Hmm...sound like a great people. Pity about the future ways of their Leader...

*Follows in the direction of the forest.*

[Ultros materializes behind Affy, having dematerialized from the location Affy was about to fry.]

[Ultros] Here! Over here!

[Ultros slams the hammer into the ground next to Affy; it doesn't hurt Affy, but it knocks him off his feet, unless he jumps in time.]

[YK] This reminds me of those arcade games where you have to hit the gophers as they keep popping out of the hole, only what you're trying to hit /has/ the hammer.

[WHAMOLA]

[YK] G'night ... [flops over]

[Ultros] Havin' fun?

[Mackenzie] No.

[Mackenzie casts Hyper Fire on Ultros. That's a move I made up that blasts fire at the opponent. A LOT of fire. Ultros, yelping, reflexively throws the mallet, smashing several of the fuses. He then regains his composure.]

[Ultros] I ain't no ... garden-variety octopus!

I am a moron. I had more than one window open, and I put all that in the wrong one. I /meant/ to say that YK's crew follows them...