A Conversation for American Slang

Masturbation Slang

Post 1

Hitler Stole My Potato

Okay, we've all heard a million of them, so maybe they deserve their own separate entry. Oh, well, I'll just put some of the ones I've heard here.
Beat off.
Beat it.
Whack off.
Whack it.
Spank it.
Spank the [monkey, meat, dog, etc.]
Jerk off.
Jack off.
Flogg the dolphin.

Any other ones? Are these used in England, or do you have your own set of masturbation slang over there?

Masturbation Slang

Post 2

No Tea

You forgot some others..

Bop the bologna
Choke the Chicken
Playing the flesh flute
Shaking hands with Mr. Lincoln
Using the self-service pump
Jerkin your Gherkin
Doing it with Rosy Palm and her five sisters
Master of your domain
test launch

Masturbation Slang

Post 3


Going home and playing with yer Meat Puppet

Masturbation Slang

Post 4

FLIPPYTALE (Researcher 52759)

Don't forget Joe Handy and his five brothers!

Masturbation Mix Up

Post 5

PenGwen: Benevolent Tyrant of Hebetude and Vivacity, Keeper of the Wonder Book of Useless Knowledge

And here is a place one can get themselves into a world of trouble with British/American mix ups.

I was sitting in a pub with a male friend one evening, and I used the word "freaking" (which incidently came out sounding like frigging, as it often does) instead of some other "f" word, thinking I was being more lady-like (or perhaps simply less vulgar). He starts laughing like a mad cow, then explains to me that the Brits use the word frigging to describe female masturbation. It's in the dictionary, but so help me I had never heard it... So much for being less vulgar smiley - smiley

Masturbation Mix Up

Post 6


Speaking of female autoerotica
My favorite (or is it favourite!) term is:

Masturbation Mix Up

Post 7

The Researcher Formerly Known As 55865

May I respectfully submit some additional terms?

-Milk the lizard
-Climb into the cockpit and grasp the joystick
-Flog the little bishop
-Yank the plank
-Pull the pud
-Squeeze the cheese (best not to think about that one too much)

And, for the hetero act between two consenting adults:

Bumpin' uglies

Now I feel all soiled.

Masturbation Mix Up

Post 8


Did anyone mention:
Beat the Bishop
Playing the Skin Flute

Masturbation Mix Up

Post 9


Not bad. Tho I'm more a fan of the term "Stir the soup."

Masturbation (and other Sexual) Slang

Post 10

Paranoid Android

Some of these might be repeats, I don't feel like trudging through all the entries.

Unisex masturbation:
play with oneself
go solo

Male masturbation:
slap the salami

Female masturbation:
jill off (as opposed to jack off)

Oral sex, performed on a man:
go down on
playing the skin flute
suck off

Oral sex, performed on a woman:
go down on
munch carpet/rug
clean the carpet/rug

Anal sex:
Taking the dirt road
Taking the back road
Popping the poop chute

Masturbation Slang

Post 11

Lupa Mirabilis, Serious Inquisitor

How about 'tugging the tubesteak'?

Masturbation (and other Sexual) Slang

Post 12


My favourites would have to be:
Burping the Worm
Squeezing the Trouser Toothpaste
Wrestling the Bald Champion
I do apologize........

Masturbation (and other Sexual) Slang

Post 13

Hoop the Mottle

Don't forget the Presidential addition to our lexicond "getting a Lewinsky".

Masturbation Slang

Post 14


leo adds

five nuckle shuffle
rub one off
rub the chub


Post 15

Blatherskite the Mugwump - Bandwidth Bandit

"Frigging" is not indigenous only to the UK, because I am an American, and I've heard this term since I was in grade school. And yes, it did mean female masturbation.

"Playing the skin flute" does not refer to male masturbation, it refers only to oral sex performed on a man.

One of the newest terms I've heard that has to do with oral sex is a "hummer." This is when a woman (or a dude, if you're so inclined) gives a dude a bj and hums a tune or something. It's rumored to enhance the experience with the vibrations, but Ive yet to be in a humorous enough mood suggest it.


Post 16


A whole forum on w**king!!

How on earth did you get away with this??


Spraying your dirty custard
Splashing the willy cream
Winding the one eyed man
Burping the bald bachelor
Shaking hand with Mr President

Masturbation Slang

Post 17


Speaking as an Englishman (and you can call me old fashioned) but I just prefer to have a W**K.
Thank you for your attention, please drive on.

Masturbation Slang

Post 18


P.S. Whilst visiting the delightful US of A somebody called me a 'Homeboy'. Were they insulting me or was I being propositioned?

Masturbation Slang

Post 19

Blatherskite the Mugwump - Bandwidth Bandit

"Homeboy" is sort of like "dude," in that it can have many uses. It can be a generic greeting, like "What's up, homeboy?" Or it can be more specific, to signify someone from your hometown ("Yeah, we're homeboys... I'm from Staten Island, and he's from Queens.") or a close friend ("I don't think you want to mess with my homeboy."). Shorter form of this word is more common: "homey."

So to answer your question... neither. Being called "homeboy" by someone you don't know is no different than "bro," "dude," or outside the Western Hemisphere, "mate." (In the Western Hemisphere, if someone called you a "mate," you'd just been propositioned. smiley - winkeye)

Masturbation Slang

Post 20


Most Enlightening. Many thanks.

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