A Conversation for The World's Best Curry Houses

The Maharaja, London Rd,Portsmouth

Post 1


Portsmouth well known as the epicentre of curry houses in the northern hemisphere (outnumbering even Bradford) boasts approximately 1 million curry houses on its small peninsula. Portmouth is somewhat like Dr Whos tardis looking rather small on a map but once your there it seems oddly large. It isnt easy getting all those curry houses into such a small place and a trans-matter converter is required to preserve this illusion, it allows double the amount of space that actually exists but has some unfortunate effects in a power cut. Theories about the effect of power cut to the trans-matter converter have varied from fixing the 3rd world food crisis in one fell swoop to an explosion similar in effect to a small nuclear device only much worse as everyone would get curry in their eyes and smell like an indian waiter.

Without doubt the shining example of curry houses is at the top end of London Rd where 3 curry houses line up rather nicely to each other in a nice row.
The Shalimar where I had a rather cold takeway late one night and never went back. The Indian Cottage, rather up market for Hitch Hiker types (also serves rather small portions, part of eating a curry is eating so much that if you made any kind of mvement after that final forkful that your intestines would rupture exploding all over your girlfriend thus nullifying any romantic overtures you may have had for the night) and finally the Maharaja which somehow despite the grot, soiled carpets and poor personal hygiene of the waiters is undoubtedly the best curry house in the know universe. (They also have todays paper in which wins plenty of brownie points if your waiting for a take-away, most restaurants have daily papers but they are somehow magically preserved from 1962)
The Chicken Tikka Passanda is particularly excellent but the armpits of the waiters are best avoided.

The Thames Balti House, London

Post 2


A curry house that isn't at all too upmarket for hitchhiker types is the Thames Balti House, on Tooley Street, on the south side of the river. Apparently they've been going for over 20 years and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see why. It's pretty spartan, but the prices are good and the food is excellent, so who's complaining?

Khan's, London

Post 3


I find the list of curry houses woefully inadequate. None in India, for instance? I'd recommend Kamat's in Colaba, Mumbai (soth Indian vegetarian), but it's been years since I've been there. However, Khan's in London's Bayswater is TO DIE FOR: and despite the classy decor the prices are hardly more than in a crummy takeaway. For 25p extra you get the chutney-plate, mango chutney, raita, bit of salad, pickled stuff. I never liked mango chutney before, and it's the first time since India I've eaten proper lime pickles. I was in london for couple of weeks and so had the chance to eat there a few times: I still don't know which dish to recommend as they were all superb.

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The Maharaja, London Rd,Portsmouth

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