h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A good Side Burn (or prefereably a good pair of Side Burns) is a tricky thing to acquire. Many people fail to find a proper balance between bushyness and restraint. Too little growth and few will notice your efforts. Too much and you may as well get out the flagon of cider now and get used to the taste of well chewed bits of grass, ooh arr.
I myself have the difficulty of the fact that there is a slight gap between where my hair ends and my beard begins. As such, if I were to grow side burns it would look as if an ant had driven his rotary mower across my cheek towards my ear. But this very disability didn't stop one of George Best's mates doing it anyway with a mountrous pair of sideys on a documentary I once saw !

Some of the greatest living sideburns belong to the rockster popsters Supergrass, namely Gaz Coombes, Danny Goffey and Mickey Quinn. Although Danny and Mickey's are fine those supported by Gaz would win prizes for their sheer magnificence.

True enough. They're obviously good at Sideys, now if only they'd stop pretending to be The Rolling Stones. 'Can you hear us pumping on your stereo ?' Yes. Unfortunately I can.

Poor song maybe but top video.
As a female I would like to add that side burns are the only acceptable form of facial hair (if done properly)

So you're not into eyebrows?

Or eyelashes ?

Balderdash! (I have to be polite - kids might read this.) Some men look best with moustaches (I can't imagine Tom Selleck without one) or beards (I'll divorce my husbands if he shaves his off!) Some men (e.g. Sean Connery) look great whatever the state of their face fungus (although I do like Sean with a beard). Others look best without a beard, possibly because their jawline is nice and strong.

Live and let live.

Signed - a self-confessed pogonophile (beard-lover, to the uninitiated )

I would never even consider going out with a bloke who did not sport a well cultivated set of sideburns.

Personally, however, I much prefer the style of sideburn adopted by Morrissey to the more bushy variety of more modern popsters. I guess I'm just an old fashioned type of girl ...

I do think that Elvis deserves sideburns mention, but then I happen to be a fan......

I think the style of side burn has to be determined by individual wearer. Personally, mine stay neatly trimmed between mid-ear and ear lobe, depending on my mood, but I've got a red heaired friend that would look just foolish without his chops extending a good half inch past his ear, and bushy as they get. A style that recently caught my eye must also be shown due respect. To look proper they must be kept on the neat side, definately not bushy, and at the bottom of the ear they extend towards the wouth and taper off to a point near the mid cheek region. Tres chic.

I'm sorry, but I must confess:

I don't know what a wouth is.

In context it sounds like something in the middle of your face, or the lower cheek, nosebridge kinda thing.

But please, enlighten me.