h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A few months ago I was desperately looking for some advice on how to break up a wedding. I know it sounds evil, but trust me it was necessary evil. I didnt have the faintest idea on how or where to start. I took the boldest approach which required going through a lot of anxiety and distress, but I confronted the person and just said: "You can't marry her because I love you"
It worked. And of course it didnt only work because I took some action, he was evidently very unhappy. It took sometime but in the end, it was worth it all the way and through again. He cancelled his wedding like 6 weeks before it happened! (phewww)
But now I still wonder, what do people do in this situation, why is there not any advice to be found on the subject??? (Maybe I didnt look properly and there is something out there)
But I think is a good discussion... how do you break up a wedding?

killing one of the parties or both would work .. a bit drastic.

Other than that. your plan worked for me. much less blodshed.

Bribe the bestman to hit on the bride to be, seen it work several times...hehe




pedboy

If it gets to the point wher eyou have to do it actually during the Wedding, then it's best to do it at the 'speak now or forever hold your peace' bit (for dramatic effect, as much as anything)

What you say is probably the most important thing- it has to be heartfelt and not read from notes. It needs to be something which everyone can relate to, and if it involves wrongdoings by either party, you need to have sufficient evidence to present to your unwitting jury. Might help to practise a few times beforehand, maybe in front of a mirror. Your speech has to be worded properly and in the right order, i.e. you first proclaim that he/she cannot marry him/her, then you state your case as to why. This is the most important bit. Then you say how much you love him/her.

Positioning is very important- you must chose your position well before the wedding, if possible. Ideally somewhere where you can start speaking before anyone else has seen you (if you have been trying to break up the wedding before, people may be on the lookout), somewhere where you can address the entire congregation (you want as many to sympathise with you as possible), somewhere which offers maximum dramatic effect, and also somewhere which allows a quick and easy escape route in case it all goes a**e about face- a balcony may be good for dramatic effect and getting heard by the whole congregation, but unless you're intending on (and have set up in advance) a dramatic rope- swing exit, then this doesn't offer much in the way of escape.

Escape is important, as even with a most convincing speech, your love still may not see eye to eye with you, and the other party certainly will not. Weddings are emotional affairs anyway, and best men, fathers and brothers of the bride etc are likely to pummel you if you don't get out sharpish.

Once you've escaped from the church, you still need to leave the area- you may have an entire congregation of angry family members scouring the countryside for you. One idea is to leave a car (maybe rented so that no- one recognises it as yours) parked close to the church but out of sight, and nowhere you could possibly be blocked in.
Another possibility is to pay a taxi driver to wait outside the church.
Stealing the Wedding car is a bad idea on so many levels, unless you and your love are planning to elope immediately and never see any of either of your respective families ever again.

TK