Handkerchiefs: pocket sized towels
Created | Updated May 13, 2004
If you have found that people look at you strangely while walking down the street, or sitting down to dinner while out on the town; it may be due to the fact that a lot of people are still not aware that a towel is the most infinitely useful thing in the galaxy, and that only a fool would be caught without one. However, until such a time as the population at large can come to terms with this fact, situations may arise when carrying a towel is socially unacceptable.
Such situations can include:
- Giving witness in a court of law
- Your wedding
- Business proposals
- Marriage proposals
- Ratification of government documents
- Most formal dinners
- Most fancy restaurants
- Bringing your own towel to the barbers
- Delivery rooms
- Funerals
In these and many other situations, when carrying your towel is no longer a viable option, and you have no briefcase or backpack to stash it away in; a handkerchief is the perfect solution. Think about it, a handkerchief is a small, lightweight, easily pocketed and socially acceptable towel! Any well made handkerchief affords the conscientious hitchhiker many of the innumerable benefits of a full sized, plush, bath towel.
A handkerchief may be used:
- To dry small objects
- To blow one’s nose (though this tends to put it out of commission for the day)
- To clean things; shoes, cars, eye glasses (unless already used to blow one’s nose)
- A tiny table cloth, for the illusion of hygiene (unless…)
- As a very small sail for a very small boat, quite handy for a very small person
- As a blindfold, for obvious reasons
- As a tiny whip, if wetted and twirled
- An impromptu bandage or tourniquet, after an especially intense whipping duel
- As a hat (Tie a knot at each corner to make a curved surface that a human head will fill quite nicely, tighten to fit)
A handerchief can also offer benefits similar to those Douglas Adams described when he said that a non-hiker will see a person "who can hike the length and breadth of the [planet], rough it, slum it," and still know where his towel is, as clearly someone to be reckoned with. Although a handkerchief may not have as great an impact on non-hikers, as a well informed one might think, “Well sure, this guy's hiked the length and breadth of the planet and still has his hanky, but does he know where his towel is?”
