h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Unlike a lot of Researchers here, in my house-sharing days I preferred to live with people I didn't know. I have found friendships permanently damaged by one person's failure to do the washing-up; with strangers, it is easier to say something, and easier to keep it on a polite level. Also, if your housemates are not your best friends, it's much easier to be anti-social and stay in your own room reading if that's what you want. Your friends may interpret this as being in a mood; housemates you only know through the house will just think (correctly) that you want some time to yourself.

I live with 3 people- one was a friend before I moved in with her, one I knew vaguely through said friend, and the other was someone none of us knew at all, so I guess I've got an example of just about every possible arrangement there...

Point is, Jenny and myself are still good friends, and I have now made what I consider to be good and strong friendships with the other two. Cat is leaving at the end of the year, and I can see us all staying in touch with her, and we'll all be sorry to see her go. Of course we all have our gripes, but I think the important thing is to allow other people to make mistakes as they allow you.

It's very important that if you do have a serious problem with something that a housemate has done (or not, as the case so often is), then you must bring it up. It is important that you are not confrontationl, and a good idea to find out if there is anything that you are (or are not) doing which is annoying that other person- this also has the benefit of making your conversation not seem like a moan.

In short, don't let things brew or they'll just explode out of control in the end.

TK