h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

When Estonia refused to turn up for a World Cup qualifier there, the Scottish fans were quite witty in singing,

"There's only one team in Tallin".

Scotland were, on that occasion, the only team to line up for the game.



Opposing fans often used to taunt Dundee United fans with the song
"There's only one United,
and that's a chocolate biscuit."

although sometimes a different word was used for chocolate.

some classics...

1
in your gorgie/govan/glasgow slums
you rake in the bucket for something to eat
you find a dead rat and you think its a treat
in your gorgie/govan/glasgow slums

2
you're no very good/clean
you're no very good/clean
you're no very
you're no very
you're no very good/clean

in fact you're/you f*****g sh**e/stink
in fact you're/you f*****g sh**e/stink
in fact in fact
in fact in fact
in fact you're/you f*****g sh**e/stink

...and my personal favourite:

(to the tune of hearts, hearts, glorious hearts)

H E A
R T S
if you cannae spell it then heres what it says
sh**e, sh**e, glorious sh**e
its down at tynecastle they bide
the boys in maroon are the sh**e o' the toon
and all of auld reekie says f**k off with pride

And one c/o my mate Noel:

'We don't care what the (name the team) boys do.
What the heck do we care?
All I know
Is there's going to be a show
And Dundee United will be there
(Selling bog-rolls)
And Dundee United will be there'.