A Conversation for Douglas Adams - His Life and Worlds
Update Forum: A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update
U168592 Started conversation Apr 4, 2006
Entry: Douglas Adams - Update - A10647218
Author: Matt James - (on 'nights' - *yawn*) - U168592
This is an Update of the Original Entry, as stated.
It is mostly minor changes, but I believe there are too many GuideML updates, added links and changes within the text to simply submit it to EF for a Curator or the Eds to do.
I haven't contacted all the contributor's as it is after all mainly minor alterations (removal of past tense and first person references).
Hope it's okay with the new additions.
MJ
A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update
Mikey the Humming Mouse - A3938628 Learn More About the Edited Guide! Posted Apr 4, 2006
Even if the changes are minor, you still should contact the authors any time you're doing an update.
The first person references that I remember seeing in the original were first person plural, and I'd consider those quite appropriate, especially given the relationship of the subject with the site. Removing those doesn't seem to have improved the entry substantially, but does seem to have taken out a little of the warmth that is in the current EG entry.
A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update
Gnomon - time to move on Posted Apr 4, 2006
If I have time, I'll compare your version with the original and see what I think.
A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update
Mina Posted Apr 5, 2006
A3790659 - original entry.
Some of these comments are about content in the original entry as well, but they might as well be looked at now.
I appreciate that you wanted to update this bit:
With the movie of The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy due to hit cinema screens on 28 April, we thought it was about time that we put together a biography of our beloved founder.
But perhaps instead of removing it you could put something like:
Since the release of the movie The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, Douglas's name has really hit the headlines and here's his biography
That's clearly rubbish, but something like that. It get mention of the movie in straight away for someone who might have googled and doesn't know who he is, or why the entry has come up in a search.
Tthis bit:
He was 11 when he first got anything into print - a short story in the boy's annual Eagle, about a man who lost his memory.
Seems really out of place. It's part of a paragraph about him being a slow developer, so that reads as if getting into print is also slow development, when really that's kind of impressive (living with an 11 year old as I do, getting them to write anything can be impossible).
I'd add it to the end of the next paragraph instead.
'aloof and rather pleased with themselves'
Either italics or quotes when quoting speech, not both. That goes for all quotes through the entry.
They were approached with the question "We're making this film. Would you like to come with us to produce and direct it?"
Double quotes should be single.
A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update
Galigan Posted Apr 5, 2006
hallo there. just thought i'd pop by because my name's on this thing and i wanted to feel i'd earned that privelege. i've read through a bit but i don't have time now so i will finish it later and hopefully have time to say something.
anyway looks good so far, and that bit about his short story makes more sense with the 'But' in there now. good work MJ.
A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update
U168592 Posted Apr 7, 2006
Right I've added more links that I feel are appropriate and I've also added more 'warmth' (not sure there was all that much to begin with, other than the first paragraph). I have also removed some wording as I feel it was casting certain people (namely Peter) in a bad light. Have also rewritten a few clunky sentences and fixed the obvious (to me anyway) spelling and punctuation errors in the original (I think, there may be more).
A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update
Gnomon - time to move on Posted Apr 7, 2006
Matt,
Your version is a definite improvement on the original.
There are just a few things I'd like to change (of course ). Some of them are things from the original which needed changing:
I feel your comment about deoxyribonucleic acid is out of place. It might be better as one of the fascinating facts. Adams delighted in the fact that he was the first DNA discovered in Cambridge.
The sentence about him getting something into print at the age of 11 comes before the section on him winning a prize for writing at age 10. The age 11 one should be moved to just after the age 11 and reworded appropriately.
he was still more interested in the field of science -- nothing has yet been said about his interest in Science, so it shouldn't be 'still'
I'm not sure whether you should say "Douglas" or "Adams". I'd favour "Adams" myself, as this is standard British journalism practice.
Your text about Shada doesn't read quite right. Instead of:
"This was due to strike action at the BBC..." you could say:
"The adventure was shelved due to strike action at the BBC..."
You might (or might not) want to put a link to John Lloyd's h2g2 personal space (he is a registered researcher although he only signed up to ask us to support some charity cause).
G
A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update
Elentari Posted Apr 7, 2006
Wouldn't it make sense to ask Jim Lynn to read this when he gets a chance, since he knew DNA personally?
A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update
U168592 Posted Apr 7, 2006
Thanks G
I've updated again with your suggestions, all of which I agree with whole-heartedly, except the use of the term 'Adams' in reference to the man himself. I know it's journalistic parlance, but I feel it's a little impersonal and as said by Mikey (I think), for a subject so close to the heart of h2g2, feel that perhaps referring to him as you would a friend is better.
As far as John's U Number, I think it's nice to see U42 as the only referenced Researcher on the side bar
again,
Matt
A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update
Smij - Formerly Jimster Posted Apr 7, 2006
>> Douglas and his family were neighbours with John Cleese in Santa Barbara,<<
Try: 'While living in Santa Barbara, Douglas and his family were neighbours of John Cleese'.
We dont link to Researcher's pages unless they're contributors, so it's best not to link to John's PS. We can make an exception for DNA though, I suppose, but you'll need to work that in as a reference rather than in the body of the text (the first line will be removed when this gets updated, after all).
A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update
Demon Drawer Posted Apr 7, 2006
Jimster the link on the entry links to the entry on John Cleese not his personal space. I didn't realise John was a researcher. Now you got me interested.
A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update
U168592 Posted Apr 9, 2006
Have done a little more, and changed the picture as it was just a copy of the same pic used on the h2g2 Vision Entry.
A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update
U168592 Posted Apr 11, 2006
Is the picture that I've selected to use for this Entry ok? Not sure regarding copyright. But I thought it was fair game seeing as it is a Blob...
A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update
Cyzaki Posted Apr 11, 2006
You can't choose a picture for the entry - if the editors deem it worthy they will commission a picture for it.
A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update
U168592 Posted Apr 11, 2006
Cy, this is the Update Forum...not Peer Review.
A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update
Gnomon - time to move on Posted Apr 11, 2006
I must admit that I prefer B1092 to B360093. I think he looks rather grubby in the black and white version.
I don't think there is any problem with copyright, as all the pictures in the library can be used anywhere on h2g2.
A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update
U168592 Posted Apr 11, 2006
I found B1184 (which I think is a smaller version of B1092 G). I had that initially but thought it was a bit 'shadowy'. Not sure now
I like B360093 because it he has that impish grin, and I think Black and White lends a touch of class.
I've changed it to B1184 though as it's more colourful and the background is more...Guideish...
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Update Forum: A10647218 - Douglas Adams - Update
- 1: U168592 (Apr 4, 2006)
- 2: Mikey the Humming Mouse - A3938628 Learn More About the Edited Guide! (Apr 4, 2006)
- 3: Gnomon - time to move on (Apr 4, 2006)
- 4: Mina (Apr 5, 2006)
- 5: U168592 (Apr 5, 2006)
- 6: Galigan (Apr 5, 2006)
- 7: U168592 (Apr 7, 2006)
- 8: Gnomon - time to move on (Apr 7, 2006)
- 9: Elentari (Apr 7, 2006)
- 10: U168592 (Apr 7, 2006)
- 11: Smij - Formerly Jimster (Apr 7, 2006)
- 12: Demon Drawer (Apr 7, 2006)
- 13: U168592 (Apr 7, 2006)
- 14: U168592 (Apr 9, 2006)
- 15: U168592 (Apr 9, 2006)
- 16: U168592 (Apr 11, 2006)
- 17: Cyzaki (Apr 11, 2006)
- 18: U168592 (Apr 11, 2006)
- 19: Gnomon - time to move on (Apr 11, 2006)
- 20: U168592 (Apr 11, 2006)
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